Proverbs 31: The Good Wife

Proverbs 31: The Good Wife

That woman described in Proverbs 31 sounds pretty formidable, doesn't she? What is a good wife, really?

My journey to become a 'good' wife started long before I read Proverbs 31. As I read different chapters and verses in the old and new testament, when I listen to Jesus, all of it informs me in my journey. Admittedly, it is a verse in Proverbs 31 that I had latched on to early in my walk as I was standing for my marriage.

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Proverbs 29: Wise People

Proverbs 29: Wise People

Have you ever been afraid to do something because of what other people might think or how they might respond?

I can remember countless situations when it was so much easier to follow the crowd or to make decisions I knew my friends would approve of, rather than consider a path I wanted to pursue. I'd like to say that was limited to my college days, or that since I'd surrendered to Jesus, I don't struggle with that anymore. But I do.

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Proverbs 23: Think & Be Wise

Proverbs 23: Think & Be Wise

For many years early in our marriage, I thought my husband was kind of a loser. I didn't say that, but I spent a lot of time wishing he was more this, that and other thing; and less this, that and the other thing, based on my expectations for him. As I thought those things and focused on them, it framed the way I spoke to him and treated him....disrespected him, really. Did these thoughts make him change for the better? No. What you think matters. What you meditate on and believe will frame your world. When you are journeying with Jesus, reading His Word every day, and meditating on it, the more you will know God and His character. The more you know God, the more you will be able to know who YOU are! YOU ARE HIS BELOVED SON OR DAUGHTER! When you know who God is and who you are, and you learn that you are living the greatest love story set amidst the greatest battle, it changes everything.

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Proverbs 22: Life

Proverbs 22: Life

Did you go through premarital counseling before your wedding? With a pastor or a priest? Whether or not you did, your whole life has been a journey of premarital counseling. From the day you took your first breath (and honestly, even before!), you were learning about what a man/husband/father is and does and what a woman/wife/mother is and does. It's true.

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Proverbs 21: Motives

Proverbs 21: Motives

Seeing the fruit of years of my selfish, disrespectful attitude towards my husband was a quick study in realizing I couldn't always control or plan the outcome. My motives weren't destructive; I thought everything I'd said and been doing as a wife, controlling our finances, leading our family, having (what I know now to be unreasonably) high expectations of my husband was for the good or our marriage, so we could achieve the things we wanted in life. Unfortunately, without God's truth and understanding, and with all my plotting, planning, and attempting to orchestrate outcomes, I was foolishly destroying everything.

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Proverbs 19: If You Quit Listening

Proverbs 19: If You Quit Listening

When I invited Jesus to be Lord of my life, life got so much more difficult. Because I was learning the truth and choosing to follow Jesus, I couldn't quit when life got chaotic. My marriage seemed particularly hopeless, and so many days I wondered if standing for my marriage while my husband was living with his girlfriend was worth it. Some days I wanted to quit, especially when those days weren't going according to my plan.

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Proverbs 17: Wise & Calm

Proverbs 17: Wise & Calm

Separation. Divorce. Serious illness. Job loss. Death. A prodigal. There are many situations in life that feel chaotic and out of control. In my life, as I was in the swirling storm of the crashing of my marriage, I realized I couldn't talk my way out of the situation. Instead, I had to be still, seeking wisdom and understanding. As I was walking with God, locking my eyes on Him in the midst of the storm surrounding me, seeking understanding, the chaos lost its power. His peace covered me.

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Proverbs 15: Response to Anger

Proverbs 15: Response to Anger

Ironically, as my husband was pursuing what he said he wanted, living a 'free' life with his girlfriend, he became angrier and angrier. He would call me to ask a question and turn it into an argument, laced with anger and accusations. Once upon a time, I would have responded in kind, with the discussions escalating quickly into heated arguments. But as I walked through the Proverbs, reading one a day, I stopped. I chose to see the source of his words and anger, and chose to respond gently and kindly; that decision changed everything.

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Proverbs 14: Weigh Every Word

Proverbs 14: Weigh Every Word

Yesterday I shared the jarring comments of a counselor, when God opened my eyes to how I had been mothering my husband. Although not kinds words, they were what God used to send me into His arms and Word, where I learned I had been destroying my husband and marriage with my words, tearing down my house with my own hands.

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Proverbs 13: Walk with the Wise

Proverbs 13: Walk with the Wise

When confronted with the knowledge of my husband's affair, I sought wise counsel. I poured my heart out to a Catholic counselor, explaining how heartbroken I was, sharing how I'd gotten to this desperate place of betrayal. She was fairly silent as I told our story. I remember one thing she told me that day... You’re not being his wife, you’re being his mother. No wonder he’s having an affair.

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Proverbs 12: The Wise Take Advice

Proverbs 12: The Wise Take Advice

Everyone has an opinion, and plenty of people around you have advice, usually unsolicited. What do you do with it all? Back when friends and family were learning of my husband's adultery, I got lots of advice. Most of it was for me to 'kick him to the curb' because he was a _________ (fill in the blank!). So I did a couple of things- I asked people not to talk about Scott that way, because I didn't want any bad seeds sown (after all, words frame our worlds!), and I pursued Jesus.

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