IT’S FRIDAY!! We’ve decided to celebrate Fridays with the FRIDAY FIVE! Not sure what it will look like from week to week, but we’ll talk about the five somethings that are good for your heart, your marriage and your family. They won’t be all inclusive lists so you’re certainly welcome to add to the conversation with your comments!
Want a healthy marriage? Do what God says in His Word and what couples with healthy marriages do! We dare you to add these things to your crazy life and see what God does when you honor His Word:
#5 EAT A MEAL TOGETHER: When was the last time you sat at a table together for a meal? Oh, yeah, and without cell phones? We’ve learned more about each other and our son over the dinner table, whether it’s at home in our kitchen or at Chick-Fil-A before church on Thursday night. Dinner is a great place for your kids to share about their day and hear about your day. Breakfast is a great time to share about the day to come, and often times, our hopes and dreams are shaped at breakfast time. Not sure why, that is just when it happens for us. In Acts 2:42, it’s described what can happen over a meal: fellowship, praying, teaching!
#4 KISS & HUG: Don’t miss the opportunity to do this TWICE a day or more! As human beings, we were created to need touch and physical connection. It’s a time to stop the world and connect in a way we tend to forget when we get so busy. This isn’t necessarily a grope session, but it can be if you’re both led there. There’s nothing like a hello and a see ya later hug and kiss! (Note: If as a couple you are coming through tough stuff where any sort of physical touch is difficult, start with just holding hands, then adding an embrace, then a kiss. We know it’s not easy rebuilding trust and intimacy, but taking little steps every day is how you win the race.)
#3 COUCH TIME: Couch time, porch time, deck time, pool time, walk time…whatever you want to call it, however it fits into your day, find 20+ minutes to come together and connect as a couple every day. Put aside all the distractions- television, phones, computers, kids… yep, put the kids away. Send them to their rooms, have them do their homework, whatever it takes, and tell them not to bother you unless they are bleeding or on fire. It’s important for THEM to see the two of you taking time out together, it shows them that the marriage comes first, and gives them a sense of protection, stability, and that the foundation of the family is firm. Talk about your day, listen to each other (no, really, listen!), encourage each other, pursue each other’s hearts. Smooching is acceptable, too…see #4. But remember, it’s not ALL about smooching. Wives need this time to share about their day and hear about their husband’s day- it’s emotional intimacy for wives, which leads to physical intimacy later. *wink*
#2 PRAY FOR EACH OTHER: C’mon, who doesn’t need prayer? I know I do, and I SEE the difference in my day when Scott has prayed over me the night before, or when he’s set aside a day to pray and fast for me. I’m a morning person, so I pray over Scott before I even get out of bed, or after my run, while he’s still waking up. Scott’s a night owl, so he prays for me as I’m drifting off to sleep. It’s powerful to hear your spouse praying sweet soft words to God on your behalf. Great tools for your marriage toolbox are Power of a Praying Wife and Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie O’Martian. An added benefit to praying for your spouse? You can’t stay mad at him/her when you get together with God and see your spouse through His eyes.
#1 PRAY TOGETHER: You can say it’s cliche’, but couples that pray together, stay together. Less than .01% of couples who pray together divorce. Why? There is something incredibly intimate about praying together- baring your souls to each other and God, getting spiritually naked together, pouring our your hearts together, crying out to God together. Keep it simple, it doesn’t have to be flowery or eloquent, just from the heart to God’s heart. In Matthew 18:19, we’re told that when two or more agree on earth, our Father in heaven acts! Wow, we’ve got power as a couple when we come together!!
We’ve been doing these things (sometimes not as consistently as we should) since God redeemed our marriage in 2005, and it has helped us to walk and talk through a LOT of junk. Doing these things has shaped our marriage into a safe place to dream and have fun together.
If your spouse isn’t interested in joining you in this dare (which is hard to believe if you tell him/her we DARE you!), initiate as much of it as you can in your family- set aside that couch time with God. Pray with your children for your spouse- leave out the details, though- and pray the armor of God into your spouse’s life.
Do you do any of these things? We’d love to hear your thoughts/ ideas!