“You make me sick, you are such a fake…I hope you lose everything!” My lips began to quiver uncontrollably and my eyes started to swell with tears as I read the condemning email that I had received. What made it even more hurtful and unbearable was that the words had been thrown my way by someone that I loved. I could not believe the spiteful, bitter, verbal assault being lashed out at me. Fear, anger, and bitterness… my emotions were in turmoil. One glance in the compact mirror resting on my desk showed the flush of bright red on my face and cheeks.
The sharp, biting words came at a time in my life when my husband and I had been struggling in our marriage. I will not deny that some of the accusations hurled my way were partly true. Entangled in a spiritual warfare, I already felt like I was being attacked in every area of my life, so the words cut like a piercing, jagged dagger taking aim at my heart. For months, I continued to read them over and over and over again. I allowed the pungent message in the email to take charge over my crushed, lifeless self esteem and allowed it dwelling space in my mind.
Soon after God redeemed my marriage, I had a decision to make. I could harbor that hurt and anger against that individual and permit the wrath delivered in that email to control my thoughts, or I could cry out to God to heal the situation. Night after night I tried to escape the anguish. I would toss and turn in my sleep. Our marriage was restored, why hadn’t she come to me to seek my forgiveness? What if I ran into her while shopping or at a community function? How could I handle this? It was going to take something miraculous and amazing to change these circumstances.
I felt as if God was humbling me. I felt him leading me to seek her forgiveness. If I wanted healing, I needed to make the first move. In the end it does not matter a “hill of beans” who is right or wrong. All that matters is did I handle the situation the way God’s word instructs me? Deep down, I knew there was no other way to elude the distress but to cover it in “red”.
There is something so powerful and soothing about the deep rich red blood of Jesus. It restores relationships, breaks down walls, and heals. It covers a painful past of pornography, drugs or alcohol. It frees you from the past bondage of a sexual assault. More than anything, the blood means that my sins are gone and I am free from all iniquity. I am free from those bitter, hurtful words. All my sins are covered in “red”.
I remember walking into the bathroom to begin my regular morning routine. While standing in front of the vanity, I looked up and noticed written in a shade of burgundy deep red lipstick the following words: BEV- I LOVE YOU! The tears began to flow, as I was reminded of the forgiveness that my husband had unselfishly granted to me as we both worked tirelessly to restore our relationship by offering the same grace and forgiveness to each other that Christ offers to us. We simply chose to cover it in “red”.
What situation do you need to forgive? What hurt or bondage from your past do you need to relinquish today? Who do you need to call up and just let the tears of grace flow? Oh, how I love that, in letters of crimson, God wrote his love. It spilled from his hands, his head, his sides and his feet. I love you, I love you, that’s what Calvary says. I love you, I love you, and it was written in RED.