My husband and son LOVE the movies where the operative receives the message that explains the job he's asked to complete. Once the situation/circumstance is described, he hears "Your mission, should you choose to accept it", followed by a summary of the mission. Then the method of conveying the message explodes and the operative is sent into action, working nonstop until the mission is complete. Kind of like a marriage, really.
Wedding vows come with two parts, typically. The part where you make your promise, accepting your mission to "love, honor and obey" or "love, honor and cherish", and the conditions of your mission "for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward until death do us part." That's when we accept our mission and the conditions. Then we walk into the potentially, sporadically explosive situation called marriage, where two people, two sinners, spend the rest of their lives either choosing to become one with every decision they make, or they drift toward isolation.
The "better, richer, healthy" of marriage is described in Genesis 2:25, isn't it? Naked and unashamed sounds pretty good to me!
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. -Genesis 2:24-25
When married couples encounter what could be described as simply as "worse, poorer, sickness", the answer to the "what do you do now?" question remains the same- love, honor, cherish/obey. Worse, poorer, and sickness pretty comprehensively describes everything that may come against us as sinners living in a fallen world- I won't list them here, you can just fill in the following blank with your situation: Worse, poorer, sickness includes ________________________________. God describes "worse, poorer, sickness" in Genesis 3. I love the way it is shared in this clip from The Art of Marriage:
Your mission from God remains the same, regardless of your circumstances. God's Word does not hinge on your circumstance. When you were born, the first mission God has for you is to become Christlike, to be the man/woman He created you to be. Then, when you marry, you accept the next mission, to be the husband/wife God created you to be, fulfilling the purposes of marriage as described in What's This For? And then, when you have children, you accept the third mission, to be the father/mother God created you to be.
How do you fulfill this mission? One moment at a time, choosing to do what God calls you to do, regardless of your circumstances and how you feel about them. When God tells husbands in Ephesians 5 to "love your wife" He doesn't follow it up with any conditions, does He? No, because He knows that husbands need to choose to love and let the feelings follow. When God tells wives in Ephesians 5 to "submit to your husband", He doesn't follow it up with conditions there, either, because He knows that when wives choose to submit, the feelings will follow. Where is the practical "how to" of all this? Read through Ephesians 1-3, which tells you who you are in Christ, then read Ephesians 4-6, the practical how to walk out who you are in Christ. You've got to know who you are in Christ before you can walk out who He's created you to be.
Even if it doesn't feel like it, it's great news to know that your mission is not contingent upon whether your spouse is living at home, not living at home, steeped in adultery, an addiction, in prison or denial. Once upon a time, you said "I do", you accepted your mission to love, honor and cherish, despite your circumstances or situation. You promised to fulfill your mission until death do you part. Know that you have a very real enemy who does NOT want you to complete your mission and will use everything he can against you to stop you. How long do you continue your mission? Are you breathing?
Be encouraged, you have not completed your mission, there is still hope!
Note: There's no better time than now to grab the tools you need to become the husband/wife God created you to be. Check out the Marriage Toolbox, grab a tool, and build/repair your marriage by working with your Creator to make you more Christlike! Remember, as you change, God may get a hold of your spouse for a Change on Damascus Road!