I Am Single

Well, I am at it again. This writing down parts of my journey to see if it might resonate with someone else and be a story God can use. I love to write because it is like talking without my voice. Or like talking inside my head so I don’t have to hear my own voice. (Or like filling my mind with things besides the voices in my head…ok, just kidding. That is not my battle). I sort of like that talking without having to hear my own voice. I like a lot of things and wonder what of what I thoroughly love to do could God possibly use to serve Him.

I Am Single




I am single. But as evidenced by my involvement in Intentionally Yours and its offshoots (including the Intentionally Standing), one of my greatest, deepest and most heartfelt passions is marriage and family. I am deeply committed to praying for those I read from and sometimes you will see that I do that by responding to a post someone has shared. It is important to me to help build people and build marriages.

I am single…but not afraid of being involved with people who are married. (Just in case anyone wanted to invite me over to have supper with their family to talk, play cards, or even watch a movie or the stars while we discuss the issues of the day).

This topic of singleness in this married blog has come in my heart this week because I heard a lot about it over the past few weeks. I have been asked if singleness is my “gift” from God, if I just never wanted to be married, or if I had something against men. (Please laugh with me at that last one!)

I don’t know that I chose to remain single as much as I just never focused on having to be married. I focused on goals that I could achieve by working at them. I didn’t quite know how to work at getting married, I guess. It is not that I never had the opportunity…but I have the standard that says that you would have to be a man who loved God more than you would love me and who would want to build me up to love God more than I love you. So I just never ran into that in my life.

SO in the meantime, I am not wasting my singleness. It is a gift according to Paul. 1 Corinthians 7:7 tells us that Paul wishes “all men [and women, I suppose] could be as he is. But each man has his own gift from God: one has this gift, another has that.” It doesn’t actually say that singleness is a spiritual gift whereas I receive supernatural empowerment to be single. And it doesn’t say that anyone’s singleness has to be forever. It just says that my singleness should be considered a gift, as your married state, or even your challenging state of standing in the gap for your spouse to come back where he or she belongs in the arms of God and of your family.

I am single. This is my “in the meantime” even if I remain single throughout this life. This is my “in the meantime” while I wait to be brought up to my Lord’s home as his Bride or while I live until there is someone I don’t want to live without, but that I want to join in a journey with the Lord.

I pray daily that I do not waste this time. And I pray daily that you, whether married or single also don’t waste your time doing anything but learning to be content in the moment with Christ where you are. It is HIS moment. LIVE it and share your heart. Even if you are weary and you are torn and worn. This is the Lord’s story in and through you. Share it. It will bless us to hear it and to journey with you and to grow with you. It is a blessing for me to journey with others. No matter what they are going through. Whatever we have been through, we can share and God will grow us up in the process.

I am single. I must be available. I am, like Paul, supposed to be MORE available because I do not have the worries of the husband or of children. I was available to be the parent of a child, well a teenaged girl, who needed to have a stable parent and who needed a stable home to complete school in. And just maybe she needed a parent to grow with Jesus with. Whatever. I was single. I was available, so that is how she knew me. I was single and I knew I had to be available…so that is how she got me.  I was single, I was available, and that daughter is how HE chiseled me. I thank God that He has taught me contentedness, so I don’t hunger and yearn and mourn for what I do not have. I am not desperate when I have Jesus. I am hopeful.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. -Philippians 4:11-13

I stand as Jesus did. Single but serving His body. Serving those married and not, married but troubled, parents with troubles and kids with parents…(ok, maybe that last one is a stretch). I read somewhere one time that Jesus was a revolutionary single person. I want to be that for Him. 1Corinthians 7:28 says that a married person will face many troubles. I just want to be a part of helping some face them together, like my parents chose to do.

We each walk with Jesus individually even if we are married. I pray that we are content and getting stronger every day through every challenge and that we choose to walk through it all…together. We make each other stronger. You are my family and I hope always to be yours.