When we learn how to love and experience love, we experience true joy. Marriage becomes a redemptive relationship when we learn that marriage is intended to be a source of joy. What a good God we have who blesses us with the joy of marriage! It’s supposed to be fun! That is God’s design. What was the first miracle of Jesus? He turned water into wine for a wedding.
Why did he do that? Well, obviously he did not want the family to be embarrassed when the wine ran out, but more than that he wanted the joy to flow. Someone once said, “It took Jesus two seconds to turn the water into wine, and the church has spent 2000 years trying to turn the wine back into water.” Jesus wanted the marriage to begin with joy and to continue in joy.
It is sad to see married people who have forgotten how to have fun. They get caught up in all the things that have to be done and lose their joy. They forget how to laugh and take things lightly. Life becomes too serious. If you are going to enjoy your marriage you have to have a sense of humor. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. You have to bring joy to the marriage instead of expecting the other person to make you happy.
A magazine ran an article a while back that read: “The space shuttle was grounded recently — not by technical difficulties or lack of government funding, but by woodpeckers. Yellow-shafted flicker woodpeckers found the insulating foam on the shuttle’s external fuel tank irresistible material for pecking. The foam is critical to the shuttle’s performance." (And now we know just how critical) "Without the insulation, ice forms on the tank when it’s filled with the super-cold fuel, ice that can break free during liftoff and damage the giant spacecraft. The shuttle was grounded until the damage was repaired."
Marriages are frequently damaged not by big things — infidelity or abuse or abandonment — but by the little things. Criticism, lack of respect, and taking each other for granted peck away at the relationship and keep us from reaching the heights.
What happens is that little things become big things and begin to rip away at the relationship as partners pick at each other. They nurse their hurts and become paranoid about what the other means when they speak. They overreact and speak angry words that should never have been spoken.
One author tells this story:
Even the most devoted couple will experience a stormy bout once in a while. A grandmother, celebrating her golden wedding anniversary, once told the secret of her long and happy marriage. "On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook," she said. A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother replied, "To tell you the truth, my dear, I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, 'Lucky for him that’s one of the ten.'”
The Bible says, “People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs” (Proverbs 19:11, NLT). It is not only good sense, it is the road to joy. I pray God blesses your marriage with great joy.
Remember back when you were dating, or courting? You made each other a priority and you pursued each other. You came up with creative ways to make each other happy. You spent time together, focused on each other.
Men, take advantage of today. Pursue your wife. Make today the day you bring your wife a single rose, tell her how much she means to you, and dance with her. Tell her how blessed you are by her and your marriage. Pursue your wife like Christ pursues you- gently, relentlessly, without ever giving up.
How will you bring joy to your marriage today? Share it with us!
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