Sometimes I get scared. I worry.
Sometimes I think about all that God has done these last eleven months and I feel so on fire right now, which is good, right?
But my mind plays the "what if" game from time to time.
What if, sometime down the road, I forget?
What if a tragedy strikes, and despite all that I have learned, it causes me to question the God who has been so good to me?
What if, years from now, I find myself in another man's arms, because I lose my way?
I think, "Never again!"
But then I remember what I thought before: "I would NEVER do that!"
So who is to say that I won't forget?
This is something I struggle with.
But what I hear when my mind starts going to this line of thinking is God saying, "Jamie, stop it. Remember what I've shown you? Those are lies. Keep your eyes focused on ME. I am the truth. TRUST ME."
And in those words, all the truth God has shown me this last year comes flooding back and washes over me. It cleanses the worry and fear, the doubt and the concern. One day at a time. That's all we can manage. We can't dwell on the past. It's ridiculous to think that we could actually live in the future. So, why don't I just go ahead and keep my mind on TODAY. Today is all I have to think about and get through. And by keeping my eyes focused on what Christ has done for me, I can get through the day, and defeat the lies that the enemy never stops whispering in my ear.
I was making a card for a friend the other night, thinking about how she mentioned that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. This is not a new concept to me. I read it in high school, and maybe even in Bible college. But Tony, our counselor, has mentioned this passage from John 10 several times as well, in talking about how shrewd the devil is. He walks around, whispering lies and deceiving at any chance he gets. But TRUE sheep KNOW the Shepherd's voice. They follow him, because they recognize his voice. They will not follow the thief that comes in to steal, kill and destroy. Because they do not recognize his voice. So, my question to you (and myself) is this: Whose voice do you KNOW?
Have you spent years growing accustomed to the enemy's voice? Are you often filled with despair, doubt, guilt, or fear? I spent 30+ years living with all of those feelings, having become so accustomed to the devil's voice that I wouldn't have recognized my Shepherd's voice if I tried.
But I'm learning now, in fact have learned, to recognize the Shepherd's voice. It brings me peace, comfort, joy, and calm. And now that I recognize his voice, I recognize the thief's voice. And I hear the lies. And I am able to refute those lies with the truth that is given to me by the Shepherd. I would encourage you to examine your own heart, and your mind, and decide who you are listening to and whose voice you recognize. Is it the thief's or the Good Shepherd's?
Matt Hammitt released his album "Every Falling Tear" after his 3rd baby was born with a severe heart defect. The songs on the album were written while they awaited Bowen's birth, and they were not sure he would live. The songs continued to be written after his birth, cardiac arrest, surgeries, etc...for now, Bowen lives on and should have another surgery this year. One article I read said that before he reaches middle age, it is likely that he will need a heart transplant.
Now imagine, as a parent trying to deal with all of the confusion, fear and doubt. Imagine what your heart would feel like, how it would ache, and how you may find yourself questioning God. Matt Hammitt wrote out his heartache and fear and the album "Every Falling Tear" was born. On that album is a song he wrote when he was feeling desperate and alone. Like I imagine many of you are feeling right now. Please listen to this song, and take the words to heart, and NEVER forget how good God is!
What lies is the enemy whispering in your ear? Shout out God's truth to come against it!
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