When trust has been broken, how can it be restored? A question we all have faced and possibly shed tears over. Marriage is built on trust, what happens when that trust is broken? A better question is: where is trust placed?
I was head over heels in love with my husband. I thought he was the greatest thing that walked on the earth. I knew he wasn't perfect, but my eyes and heart were squinted to that and slowly over the years my husband's pedestal grew higher and higher. Sure we argued and sure he disappointed me (as I did him!!) but I still held him high. When that moment came and trust was broken, I was devastated. Everything I had esteemed him to be was not the reality. That pedestal broke at the base and came crashing down. I had found security in flesh, and it failed me.
And so I began the road to healing. God opened my eyes to my displaced position I had placed my security. I depended on my husband for everything; for my happiness, my well being, my comfort, my SECURITY. Boy was I in a doomed to be disappointed place!!! Psalms 118:8 tells us "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."
We are all sinners, we are all failures in the flesh. Daily we battle the flesh and daily we fail. Our only key to trusting again is trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ. Is it possible to trust your spouse again? YES! But it is only through trusting Christ. We need to look to Christ for our happiness, our well being, our comfort, our security. I found that once the right One was on the pedestal, my trust in my husband took on a new meaning. I accepted that he is flesh and that he will mess up.
I realized open communication between the two of us, and Christ began to rebuild that trust and security. Praying together, confessing daily to each other, encouraging and lifting each other up are all things we needed to do together to restore the broken trust. Trust can be broken in a moment, but is takes more than that to restore.
I encourage you to set your eyes on Christ, place your trust in Him first. Spend time together communicating and praying. Set hedges in place that encourages trust restoration. Be understanding that there will be failures along the way, but rest assured... "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Hebrew 13: 5-6
I want to leave you with lines from a beautiful poem my dad wrote years ago, it is so true
I Know I Can Trust You Lord by David McLaurin
If I can trust You with my eternity...
I know I can trust You with with my today and my tomorrow.
If I can trust you to be with me when I say "Yes, Lord" to your call ...
I know I can trust You to be with me when I cry, "Help Lord" as trials accompany obedience to Your call
If I can trust You to stretch out your arms for me on the cross...
I know I can trust you to reach down your hands for me when following You requires that I take up mine.
If I can trust You to raise me from the grave of death...
I know I can trust you to lift me from this valley of pain.
If I can trust the power of Your grace to escort me safely to my heavenly home...
I know I can trust the power of your love to sustain me on the journey.
Lord, I do trust You...
Please, help me to trust You more
(For the full poem, comment below and I will be happy to share )