We watch them slip away. We suspect things that we refuse to allow our minds imagine. We are broken and at the moment loud as we lash out and with words seek to destroy. With no impact for the good, we feel defeated and alone. In those moments of defeat we have a choice. Do we quit? Do we seek revenge? Or do we stand in silence?
So many times we act in the moment and make choices that provide instant results. We could get angry and react in hateful words or walk away leaving it unresolved. We could feel alone and seek others for that fulfillment whether it be through conversation or through intimate touch. What happens AFTER the instant result? Are we better off? Are we happier? Not so much, in fact, it usually has deepened the wounds and made them more complicated.
We have all had times in our marriage where we feel the desire to take control and "fix" things. I want to encourage you to stop and stand. Go to a mirror and look deep into it. Examine yourself, YOUR heart. Are you where God wants you to be? Are you doing what God wants you to be doing?
God desires your heart to be after His first, not your spouse's. He desires for you to fall deeply in love with Him, and He promises to never leave you. When you develop a genuine relationship with Christ (not fire insurance, or a "phone a friend" type of relationship) you will learn to depend on His love during the bad times. Although things won't resolve instantly, they will resolve deeply.
My friends, don't seek surface pleasure, don't seek surface resolution. Seek heart change! Start with yourself! So many times we see the dust in our spouse's eye and ignore the plank in our own! Once you have come to Christ and are learning to depend on Him, give Him your spouse.
I challenge you to get a notebook and a pen and begin a STAND IN SILENCE journal. Where you, through prayer and study, stand for your marriage. Pray over the things that are breaking your heart, pray for strength, pray for a change starting with yourself! Keep this between you and God, don't use it as a weapon or threat against your spouse. Let it be just you and God. You will see God work in a Mighty way when you choose to LET GO, and LET GOD!
Here are some scripture verses to get you started:
Philippians 4:6 "Be anxious in nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Commit to give it all to God.)
Ephesians 4:22-23,24 "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." (Turn yourself to God, focus on Him and not your worldly flesh.)
Ephesians 4:25-26 "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold." (Do not sin because you have been sinned against! Pray that you will stand against the temptation to seek revenge or to seek temporary relief.)
Ephesians 4:31-32 "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, as Christ god forgave you." (Pray for forgiveness towards your spouse and towards yourself. Pray that God will heal your heart and give you strength to release bitterness and offer kindness.)
Psalms 40:1-3 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." (Wait on Him, trust in Him and let Him do a work in YOUR heart.)
Friends, our prayer is that you find God in your marriage, and for that to happen, you have to find God for yourself first.
Do you know Him?
Are you in a relationship with Him?
If you don't and want to know more ask us and we will gladly speak to you. If you know Him as your Savior but have walked away, come back! God loves you and He desires you! God bless each of you!
GO TO THE SOURCE: FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember is a great place to get TRUTH! It will strengthen your marriage, and change your life, marriage and legacy. Find a getaway near you, register with our group code JOSHUA2415 for a discount!
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