Was I Wrong to Want a Divorce?

Was I Wrong to Want a Divorce

Was I wrong for wanting a divorce? Confused with nowhere to turn but to the word of God I searched for answers. It was the first time I opened the book with all the answers to find an answer. Was I Wrong to Want a Divorce

I got on the computer and went to Bible Gateway typed the word "divorce" in the search option and what comes up as the most relevant verse:

“For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel... -Malachi 2:16 NLT

Not exactly what I was wanting to hear at that time. So, like anyone with a little bit of experience using a internet search engine I tried to manipulate the outcome by changing the search term. I've got it...let's see what comes up as the most relevant search result for "wife". Here's what I find:

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church... -Ephesians 5:25 NLT

I must say that was a little hard to swallow since I didn't exactly feel like loving my wife. She had hurt me deeply, and like anyone who has been hurt it was kind of hard to show love to the person who had hurt me. Additionally, how could I love my wife like that? It was incomprehensible. After all, Jesus willingly suffered and died on the cross for the church.

Having struck out twice, and since manipulating the search did not give me what type of outcome I wanted, I checked out the second most relevant result for "wife." That was when I knew God was talking to me; not only did He tell me He hated divorce He was going to show me that He was primarily interested in changing me. He kept me right there in Ephesians 5:

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. -Ephesians 5:28 NLT

Okay, point taken God! Yes, I was not choosing to love my wife, but this a little more comprehendible. God had to simplify things for my simple mind. At first, I took this verse out of context, but it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time. I went to the bathroom looked in the mirror and thought to myself: "what happened"? I walked downstairs got on the scale and was floored when I saw 225 lbs. I mean, my pants were tight and all, but what had happened to me? Since when did I have 2 chins?

That's another story for another time, but understand this: God used this internet search and His Word to change me for my marriage. I began to realize I was learning the hard way. Two months later, as I started the journey of my 60 lbs. weight loss, I began feeling better about myself. I felt like I appeared to be someone that look liked they loved their own body. What I didn't realize was that was just on the outside.

I felt like one of those fancy stainless steel trash cans, you know the ones that are nice and shiny on the outside, but when you open it and examine the inside it is filled with nasty trash. I was like the white washed tombs that Jesus used to describe the Pharisees:

...beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. -Matthew 23:27 NLT

You didn't have to be around me long to figure that out though, all you had to do was listen to me talk. I could hardly have a conversation without using profanity.

Check back next week when I talk about how I took the trash out!

 

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