I will never forget the day my whole world fell apart nor the hurt and irrational emotions that followed and the scars they left behind. I should have known…I had suspicions, yet I refused to entertain the thoughts that HE could FAIL in such a devastating way!
My grandfather, my Spiritual advisor, had failed everyone, and messed up BIG time! Are you ready for this? He committed adultery……with a member of the CHURCH he was PASTORING. To make matters worse, my grandparents had been married longer than this woman had been alive! Ultimate betrayal! How could he do such a thing?
For eighteen years, Granddaddy was my world, the apple of my eye. I loved and trusted him so much! Suddenly I found myself in a difficult situation. I began questioning my whole life. Was my life a lie? Where was God at now? Had he abandoned us all? I had seen people healed, heard and experienced God’s delivering power only to now question its total existence. Is everything I have ever known and believed a lie?
Questioning God is never a comfortable place to be and as a college student, I RAN far away from God and my crumbling family. I remember feeling so ashamed because of all the gossiping of the “Christians”. I couldn’t even go to church without receiving glares of disappointment towards my entire family. I felt abandoned and unloved to the point that thoughts of ending it all entered my mind.
Why live if my whole life was a lie? Who was I anyway? I even dropped out of college…well, sort of; I actually purposely flunked out so my parents couldn’t make me go back! No one understood why my life was affected so much from this situation.
May I be open and honest with you? Emotional or physical affairs, constant fighting, and divorce affect your family and your legacy in ways you can never imagine. Your children, grandchildren, friends, church, and everyone in your circle of influence are affected by your decisions and reactions to what is going on around you.
No matter the struggle, your actions and responses matter! When times get rough and everything seems to be falling apart around you, your decisions speak volumes. When you decide to run away, you are saying to everyone around you that your circumstances are too big for God to handle. You are teaching that when times get rough, the solution is throwing up your hands in defeat and running away. What kind of legacy does this leave? What kind of hurt and confused emotions are you passing down to those in your circle of influence?
We are called to be Christ-like. Christ freely gave His life so that we can be forgiven and he freely gives that forgiveness with no strings attached. We should display the beauty and love of Christ in every situation. Christ has never thrown up his hands and walked out on us when times got rough. He comes along side us and shows us grace, love, and understanding. We just have to trust in Him and His Divine plan.
When everything is falling apart and the only answer you see is to run away, I urge you to focus on these things:
Rest in the arms of God and His promises. Instead of questioning Him in these times of heartbreak; take refuge in Him. Stand tall and allow Christ to be your DEFENSE. Trust me, He has great things in store for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Guard your heart and your actions. Everything you do flows from your heart! Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
Think before you speak! Ask yourself these questions:
Am I speaking life or death into this situation? Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Are my words and actions displaying the image of Christ? Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Remember, your life affects many and we are all leaving a legacy. Is your legacy positive or negative? Are we showing those around us the image and love of Christ? We are the only Jesus some people will ever see. We are ancestors of those to come, we are shaping our family, our community, and our world with each decision we make!
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