22+/- Things I've Learned

How long have you been married? It's a harmless question, seems simple enough to answer...for most people.  For us, as we share with people that we divorced on our 14th wedding anniversary, but that our divorce just didn't work out...well, it makes answering that simple question tougher. We've been married 22 years or so, give or take a few. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA


September 21 is our wedding anniversary and the date of our divorce. So we chose a new date for our new marriage together- Cinco de Mayo! Scott would tell you we celebrate with sombreros...don't believe him. Cinco de Mayo—or the fifth of May—commemorates the Mexican army's 1862 victory over France at the Battle of Puebla during the Franco-Mexican War (1861-1867). Did you know it's a relatively minor holiday in Mexico? According to the History Channel, it is more highly celebrated in the United States, having evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage. The battle on May 5, 1862, was fought from sun up to sun down by a rag tag force of passionate men, was an upset for the favored and heavily provisioned French Army.

Although we didn't intentionally choose to remarry on Cinco de Mayo for its significance in any way, it was pretty cool to learn about it afterwards. Scott and I were like those rag tag passionate men, but until we each submitted our lives to God, we were passionate about different and the wrong things, and we were losing the battle. Now we've got a new Commander in Chief, and we're employing His battle plan in our lives and marriage.

In the past 22+/- years, we've learned a lot about ourselves, God, marriage, and the world. The track record from our years of marriage BC (before Christ) is an example of how not to be married, and we don't want to forget those years, they remind us where we never want to be again. The redemption of our marriage is a lens through which we see those first twelve years, with God speaking to our hearts in His Word to live differently...and to share how to live differently with the watching world. We've learned a lot in the past 22+/- years. I've learned a lot.

So these are some of the things *I* have learned in our 22+/- years of marriage:

  1. 1. God's plan is better than yours.
  2. 2. Get out of the way- stay on your face before God so the Holy Spirit can smack your spouse with the 2' X 4' of conviction.
  3. 3. Prayer works.
  4. 4. Less really is more. Except for respect...respect your husband more.
  5. 5. Love God more than your spouse.
  6. 6. Tithe. You can't outgive God.
  7. 7. Follow your husband wherever he leads, except into sin.
  8. 8. Right time, right place, and right spirit make for the best discussions.
  9. 9. Be a safe place: respond to his mistakes with compassion and kisses, not scorn.
  10. 10.Be your husband's #1 cheerleader.
  11. 11. Enjoy the road less travelled (not knowing every detail of the way is okay).
  12. 12. Close drawers and cabinets.
  13. 13. If you've got a good marriage, pour into others.
  14. 14. If you're having trouble, get help.
  15. 15. Live with your hands wide open.
  16. 16. Couch time rocks.
  17. 17. Parent together.
  18. 18. Your attitude sets the mood of the house.
  19. 19. Submission is freedom.
  20. 20. Sarcasm kills a marriage.
  21. 21. I need my husband's protection; often from myself.
  22. 22. Sex is AWESOME! As God intended, it can be the closest thing to experiencing heaven on earth!
  23. 23. Scott's plan is often better than mine.
  24. 24. Except when mine is better.
  25. 25. God's plan is still better than both of our plans.
  26. 26. With my husband is my favorite place on the planet.
  27. 27. Especially if he's somewhere with palm trees.

This is just the tip of the iceberg...I could have gone on and on and on with everything I've learned and am still learning. And just because I've learned these things doesn't mean I've mastered any of it. I'm a work in progress!

Scott will have to write his own list to share...I'm sure it looks a little different than mine.

What have you learned?


Great getaways to get to change your life, marriage and family, whether your marriage is thriving or barely surviving:

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