“Mom, what’s that noise coming from your room that sounds like an owl?” My heart started racing, my face turned five shades of red and I began to hyperventilate and go into a panic as I began to search frantically for my clothes.
I could hear my little girl turning the door knob and at that moment, yes that very moment, I did what any other mature adult in my situation would have done. I laughed so hard, that I became disoriented which led to my rolling out of the bed and hitting my head on the floor with a loud bang! Fumbling for words, and trying hard to keep my composure, I blurted out, “young lady don’t you dare open that door! Go back to bed. Everything is just fine. Mommy is just reading daddy a good bed time story!”
Can Christians really enjoy sex? Why certainly! As a matter of fact, when it is in the sacred bond of marriage, sex can leave you more satisfied than the richest milk chocolate, the wildest amusement park ride, or the most amazing fun-filled shopping excursion...
Yet, just being candid, there was a time in our sex lives when like many other married Christian couples we found ourselves in a boring hopeless rut! Honestly, we were so overcommitted with outside priorities, stress, and unresolved marital conflict (including poor communication skills) that we failed to make sex a priority. I can remember very few nights of heated passion, and what nights I did reluctantly participate, it was all I could do to keep from letting out a sigh of disappointment or even a yawn! All I knew is I had said,” I do” and with I do you were expected to “do it”, but in the back of my mind I was thinking is this really all there is? If so I would much rather be shopping!
It was not until God redeemed our marriage several years ago that I fully began to understand God’s view of sex and how it was created to be pleasurable and provide that highest form of intimacy. I realized that there was more to sex than my lying there in “missionary style” and there were more places to enjoy it with my spouse other than the master bedroom! As we began to communicate and open up to each other about our likes and dislikes, Honey child, the fire was ignited! I researched Christian books, help guides and Christian websites. Now let me stop right there and add this, make sure that you test all information you find and compare it to the Word of God! If it does not agree and line up with God’s Word then lay it down, get rid of it, you should NOT receive it as truth.
What we found as a couple was that we much-needed to spice up our sex life and add a little variety! For years we had been guilty to making out in what we called conservative preppy style...beneath the covers, easy on the sheets, conservative pajamas and when we finished, both of our hairstyles were still perfect! Wanting to please God and my spouse, I still could not help but wonder what can we and can we not do? My husband and I applied the following questions to ideas to spice things up: Does it honor God? Does it cause any pain, harm or shame to you or your spouse in any way ?
For the change to come about we learned first that sex had to become a priority, before kids, PTA, golf, and even the dirty dishes. We even learned that having “quickies” when we were running short on time could be fulfilling! What made it even more fun was the challenge of sneaking into other areas of our home and going unnoticed by the kids. You see we had to jazz it up... think outside the box. We started adding music, chocolate, scented oils, and I said goodbye to those oversized jogging pants with the elastic missing from the waist. I traded them in for….well that’s a whole ‘notha blog post! Yet the smartest thing I ever did as a wife was muster up enough nerve to come right out and ask my husband, what can I do to make this an experience you will never forget?
Are you finding your sex life is in that dreadful rut? Open up the greatest “how to manual,” go to God’s Word, get out the strawberries and whipped cream, savor a little of Song of Solomon with your spouse and allow God to do a mighty work!
Drink water from your own well ... Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed...rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Proverbs 5:15-19
We LOVE a blog called Hot, Holy & Humorous, and we think you'll love it, too. Additionally, here are some great resources on sex and intimacy:
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