Now, here I was taking bold small steps to break free from that bondage. For the first time in years, I had thrown aside the oversized sweat pants and had worn something to bed that just might cause my husband’s heart to flutter, skip a beat and make his tongue wrap around his ankles twice!
Honeychild, I ain’t gonna lie, my heart went to racing, my knees started buckling and for a moment, I thought I should just grab the nearest bathrobe or even a bedsheet. I sucked in my stomach muscles as tight as I could and walked across that room in a white lacy outfit that had less material than my husband’s tube socks! In the back of my mind, all I could do was picture him sitting up in the bed like, Jethrow from the show The Beverly Hillbillies, and shouting out, “WOO DOGGIE!”
Somebody pass the peanut butter and chocolate! I am about to step all over my hot pink polka dot painted toes and I will need a pedicure by the time I am finished.
Ladies, may I just get candid? Are we turning our husbands on IN the bedroom as well as out? Or are we rejecting/ignoring them, leaving them tempted to turn to other sources, to be drawn dangerously to the flirtatious looks, remarks, and advances of other women?
Last week I shared with the men, How To Turn Her On Without Getting Naked, this week I believe that I have a word for all the wives.
Ladies, it is time to turn him on AND GET NAKED! Some suggestions for you…
Affirm and Encourage Him. Honey, flirt with your man! Leave notes on his pillow, the mirrors, his lunch box… I even had a friend who left her husband a message on the raised toilet lid written in red lipstick! Well GLORY! What a way to start your day with a little laughter and a little flirting. Affirm him and let him know you appreciate him when he pitches in with the chores. I like to tell my husband he looks sexy folding the towels! Is this a little out of character for me? YES. Does he fold towels more often? Hallelujah, YES! EMPOWER him with your words and you just watch what happens. If you don’t affirm your spouse I promise you someone else will. I refuse to let it be the babysitter, his secretary, someone at a gym, or at the grocery store. I have made a new commitment that the woman affirming him will be me! Praise your husband not only in private, but in front of his friends and his family.
Respect Him. You know as I read this verse again, I noticed something.
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:33
Paul doesn’t say it would probably be a good idea if the wife respected her husband, he doesn’t say respect him only if he deserves it, he doesn’t say respect him only if he has treated you well or only if he is a Christian, yet instead the verse reads, “and the wife must respect her husband.” Girlfriend, that means we have no alternative! Treat him like a valued gift. Allow him to lead even if he makes a mistake. I will be honest, that one was hard for me, trusting him and respecting him completely, even when I did not feel like he was right. I had to learn to bite my lip and keep quiet, but when I did I can’t tell you how this changed him.
Get NAKED with him. I have said this before, a husband can take his laundry to the cleaners, eat out for all of his meals, confide his deepest secrets with his male buddies, and in doing all of this he can still be in the will of GOD; BUT if he has sex with anyone other than his spouse it is sin. Wives, we are the only ones who can affirm our husbands in the area of sexual intimacy. Be more expressive, respond to him and affirm his masculinity. Your husband is designed such that when he is not allowed to share this intimacy with you it can lead to internalized hurt, frustrations, anger, disappointments... ladies, he just feels rejected. Denying your husband of the pleasure of sex with you could lead to his turning to pornography or other areas of sin. Sex is one of the keys to a happy marriage. It is like giving water to a plant. Oh, and by the way, your husband is not as concerned with you being a size 2, 4, or 6 as he is with you allowing him to see you naked!
Ladies, affirm your husband today, respect him, go out and by some chocolate, a cute outfit or no outfit, and get naked with him!
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