Warning: When jumping up and down on the bed in an effort to add spice, humor and some fun to your sex life, it is best to turn the ceiling fan switch to the “off” position! The blades can whack you in the noggin, you just might be knocked out cold and it might prove difficult when explaining to the emergency room crew, especially if your husband just happens to work at a hospital! Before you even contemplate emailing me the question, the answer is YES.
I have been hit in the head with the ceiling fan blades. I have also rolled off the bed, broken my nose when kissing, and as far as any emergency room drama...well, Honeychild, let’s just say I am pleading the fifth! So here goes… the part where I get candid and my husband reaches for his imaginary nitrogen pills (Peanut M&M’s) as he ponders, “What in the world could she possibly reveal next?!”
There was a time in our marriage when our sex life was a far cry from thriving or thrilling. As a matter of fact, you could say visiting your local library and checking out a black and white movie was more fascinating. In my defense, it took all my energy to hold down a job, fix dinner, serve on the PTA, draw up baths and when my head finally did hit that feather down pillow if he even thought about glancing my way… I gave him a look that strongly conveyed, “Don’t you even think about it! Besides, are you crazy? It’s a weekday!”
You see most of the time, my mind and exhaustion persuaded me that there could never be sex on weekdays. If my husband was turned on, he would just have to turn it off until the weekend. There was absolutely, positively no way I could take on another “chore” during the week.
You can only imagine the resentment and the frustration in our marriage as our sex life swiftly began to deteriorate. When God restored our marriage many years ago, I began to look at sex in a different way. I desired for it to be fun, spontaneous and a true form of LOVE making. Frankly, sex was never a topic covered in our premarital counseling and still today I see so many churches ignoring or even tip toeing around the issue, yet many Christian couples struggle with not being able to experience the full joy of a great sex life, or even settling for boring humdrum sex because they know no difference.
Ugghhumm… Is it time to take your intimacy to a “HNL”? I am talking about a “'Hole Notha Level!” A pastor friend shared that acronym once and you can bet your bottom dollar he probably would have never guessed someone would refer to it in an article about sex!
Four Steps to WOW Sex!
These four steps can help to lead to WOW sex, which by the way is short for Whoopee on Weekdays….. My friend you are no longer confined to the Weekends! Make your spouse and your love life a priority.
#1 Flirting. The first time I ever laid eyes on my hubby I can tell you I began to flirt.There was no way I was going to let another woman move in on that territory. I left notes on his steering wheel, I would wink, talk in a low sexy voice, anything I could to get his attention. So why not now? Go back to doing what you used to do. Pursue your spouse! Let me tell you, there is something about my husband flirting with me that surely boosts my ego and counters any low self-esteem. I can be standing in front of a mirror sulking about having too much junk in my trunk and that man of mine will come up and grab my rear.... and well glory! In all honesty, it empowers me, it makes me feel beautiful. Do you want to set the tone and put your spouse in the mood after a long day? Try a little flirting.
#2 Free Your Time.Please listen to me. It’s not a sin if you have to schedule your sex nights!I had to learn to do this, otherwise our time together ended up on the back burner. Put the kids to bed early, take the phone off the hook, turn off the television, put your electronics outside the bedroom door, grab a warm shower together, wake up those dead cells in your body, turn on a little Barry White and just see what happens next. You might not be in the mood, but it is sure to follow.
#3 Foreplay. A little foreplay will go a long way. Occasionally, I mentor women who are struggling with dryness, pain and boredom in sex. I can tell you that at first it felt awkward, but I learned to communicate with my husband and open up about what was pleasurable and what was not. We both began to have fun and enjoy each other. You may want to introduce some light oils or lotions to help with intimacy in this area. Fill his rolo-sex. You talk about becoming one flesh and not just on Monday, but Tuesday through Sunday…. Whooodoggie!
#4 Faithfulness. Sadly, I know all about the hurt from betrayal of an emotional affair. You see there was a time in our marriage years ago that I caused it. In addition, I have seen couples break under the strain from addictions to pornography, sexual affairs, and other sexual sin. Pray fervently as a couple to GOD for help in remaining faithful. Ask GOD to place Christian friends in your life to hold you accountable and if you feel at any point you are slipping or under attack by Satan, lay down your pride reach out to your pastor, a godly counselor or a friend for help. Above all, guard you heart.
Is your sex life in a rut?
Refuse to stay there. Grab your spouse, put thesefour steps into practice, communicate & just watch as the intimacy begins to grow.
Great getaways to get to change your life, marriage and family, whether your marriage is thriving or barely surviving:
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