Riding in the car on the way to work last week with my husband, we were having a great conversation...until I said something so incredibly disrespectful. I think my heart hurt more than Scott's as soon as the words left my mouth. It was one of those moments when I wished I could grab my words out of the air and toss them out the car window. Too late. I'd blown it. And the thoughts in my head joined in the chorus...really? You've been surrendering for nine years, how could you blow it that way? You haven't really changed...
In The Surrendered Wife Chapter 21 entitled Never Eat Worms, author Laura Doyle reminds us that habits take a while to form and not to beat yourself up with your thoughts or punish yourself for mistakes in your journey of surrendering. So often when we make a mistake, we hear the stream of condemnation in our minds...
- You blew it again.
- You can't do this.
- You're a horrible wife.
- You're a rotten mother.
- You're impossible to live with.
- You're a failure.
- You're a disappointment.
- You're worthless.
- You'll never change...
Good, valid point, and she tries her best to explain it without taking God's plans for us into account. As my dear friend, Beverly, would say, fighting the battles of life without the Word of God is like going into Iraq armed with only a water pistol. So let's arm up with wisdom, shall we?
Arm up for the battle of your thoughts!
Every thought is not your own. Read that again. Not every thought that pops into your head is your own. The enemy wants you to believe that every thought is your own. If you believe every thought is your own, you won’t believe that God can talk to you.
Take every thought captive. Your thoughts are like packages delivered by the postman-it's important to inspect every package delivered. You wouldn't receive into your house a package a package with hazard labels or one leaking green goo, would you?
We are demolishing arguments and ideas, every high-and-mighty philosophy that pits itself against the knowledge of the one true God. We are taking prisoners of every thought, every emotion, and subduing them into obedience to the Anointed One. -2 Corinthians 10:5
Identify the lie. Look at the return address of every thought you think...does it come from a place of criticism, condemnation, discouragement, despair, demeaning, or dismissing? If so, its destination is death. And if the destination is death, the thought is NOT from God! The enemy has a goal- to steal, kill and destroy. God's plan is for you to have life in abundance, and we know what that looks like from Paul:
But the Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. ~Galatians 5:22-23
Speak truth. Once you determine what the lie is, seek God's truth and speak it! TODAY is a great time to dig into God's Word to learn what He says about you. There are tons of lists floating around the internet, find one based in scripture...print it out. Keep it with you. SPEAK the TRUTH to the enemy when he tells you something that is a LIE! These are some of my favorites:
Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. ~Ephesian 1:4
If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new! ~2 Corinthians 5:17
The God-begotten are also the God-protected. The Evil One can’t lay a hand on them. We know that we are held firm by God! ~1 John 5:18
God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So you should always clothe yourselves with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. ~Colossians 3:12
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. ~John 10:10
YOU are a new creation!
YOU are taking bold steps of surrender and submission to God first and to your husband. Clearly, you are reading this, so you've got the desire to surrender and enjoy all the benefits of a surrendered life. That desire moves you to discipline, where you put in place all those daily and moment to moment decisions to surrender. Yes, you'll make mistakes! It's okay! Recognize them, seek forgiveness, and move on to what's next. With each step you take in surrendering, as it becomes part of your lifestyle and discipline, you will delight in it and its fruits! Don't let the enemy derail you!
NOTE: One thing I want to mention here is that yes, I am disappointed that with all God has to say about the role of wives and submission, the author doesn’t cite any scripture, yet manages to quote Buddha. It’s still a great book, it still lines up with God’s Word, the author’s frankness was a practical wake up call for me…I just wish she’d embrace and share that God is the author of surrender.
In case you've missed it, this post is part of a series following along with The Surrendered Wife. I'd strongly encourage you to pick up the book and read along! Catch up on the blog series now by reading: Control or Intimacy, Did You Marry a Loser?, Chauffeur or VIP, Shhhh!, Crazy Resentful, Your Heart's Desire, You Bought a What?!, Just Say Thank You, Girlfriends, Button Pusher, Expectations, Not a Mind Reader, Space to Work, A Wife's Role, It's Okay to Say I Can't, Intimacy: Naked & Unashamed, If You Can't Say Something Nice, Let Your Husband Be the Dad, Listen, Seduce Your Husband, Say Yes to Sex.
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