God Knew I Needed to be His Mom

Mom, do you know God gave you the children you have for a reason? mom

I’ve said many times that I think God gave them to me to make me a better mom. Isn’t it true that the way you act and behave in your worst moments in reaction to their behaviors put a spotlight on your weaknesses and vulnerabilities?

It’s certainly true for me, and gives me clear direction for what I need to work on! My behavior in response to my children seems to be a beacon from every direction, and I am so quick to be critical and beat myself up over not being the perfect mom, how I do everything wrong, and how much my kids must be disappointed in me.

A little girl, when asked where her home was, replied, “Where mother is.” ~Keith L Brooks

About 3 years ago, I rededicated my life to Christ and have been redeveloping my relationship with Him. I hadn’t been going to church for more than 10 years, had married, become a mom, divorced, remarried and became a stepmom, lived in Europe, travelled many places, became a mom again, but just couldn’t figure out my life! I found myself looking at my marriage from a very low place, when I decided to let God take back control and truly committed to growing in Him, becoming the prayer warrior for our home. Lots of good things happened, however, my critical nature didn’t improve, and my relationship with my middle son (aka my stepson…in real life, we don’t call anyone step-anything) sparked lots of confrontation and emotional reactions from everyone. I felt alone about my struggles, and started reading a book that changed my perspective on my abilities and purpose as a mom to my son.

Am I Messing Up My Kids?

When I started reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Am I Messing Up My Kids?....and Other Questions Every Mom Asks,” I felt many “AHA!” moments! The biggest moment I remember was taking a few moments to consider the fact that I am the mom that God knew my children needed! Yes, even stepchildren! I think many stepmoms feel happy about having an instant family, but there is still that underlying tension of that child really being someone else’s. I often felt he just put up with me, biding his time until I left and he could have his dad all to himself. I took it personally (and still do) when he disagrees with me, or doesn’t hold my opinion in the highest regard. I'm a work in progress!

God Created Me to be His Mom

I had never considered that God planned for me to be in HIS life! I had never taken the time to look at it from the perspective that this small boy needed ME! I had no idea what to do at first, and still struggle with feeling completely connected with him, but keeping this thought in mind that God KNEW I needed to be his mom, and he needed me makes me feel special, have a purpose and opened the door even wider to accept grace and forgiveness for my crazy mom moments!

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. ~Psalm 55:22

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ~James 1:5-6

 

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