Book Review: Why You do The Things You Do

Why You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships

Why You Do The Things You Do

By Dr. Time Clinton & Dr. Gary Sibcy

I've had this book for a few years now...isn't that always the case? About a week or so ago, it was just sitting there on my bedside table, where it's been for months and I couldn't ignore it any longer. I read most of it right then and there. I even needed to grab a pencil and start underlining so much of the wise goodness it contained!

It's about relationships in general, not just marriage but how we operate in our friendships and our parenting. The authors break relationship styles into four basic categories (and corresponding chapters for each), starting with what the healthy one looks like:

The Secure Relationship Style The Avoidant Relationship Style The Ambivalent Relationship Style The Disorganized Relationship Style

The book is filled with great examples and testimonials of individuals operating from each style. It explains them well and gives a very clear picture of each. I found the information easy to understand and painfully relatable.

The authors also do a very good job of breaking the styles down in how we parent our children. The book gives practical advice on how to raise emotionally healthy children that can actually manage both their positive and negative emotions.

I have read many relationship books that felt like they simply reiterated the same tired basic communication skills. Not this one! It is Biblically centered and challenges the reader to explore, acknowledge and analyze their individual woundedness, in order to move forward along the path of healing and healthy relationships. The last chapter was one that left me feeling equipped and filled with hope.


I finished this book a few days ago and I have already noticed changes in how I respond to others. I am excited to start implementing what I have learned, in my role as a parent.

Whether you are married or single, someone's child or a parent, or even a friend, this book will have a positive impact on every relationship you have. I can not recommend it enough.

New year, new you, new marriage!

Now it a great time to tune up your marriage at The Art of Marriage! We've got events at Sandy Plain OFWB in Pink Hill January 10-11 and 902 Church in Kinston January 17-18. Register for one of them today!



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