Divorce statistics are not surprise, we live in a selfish, impatient world that says 'I want what I want, when I want it.' We rationalize the consequences of our selfishness, deciding that children are resilient, we deserve to be happy and everyone is doing it. We make decisions made under the guise of no regrets, leave no path untravelled, no stone unturned, or doing things my way, as Frank Sinatra put it.
To live a regret free marriage, you've got to know what is regret worthy. Give those things in your past to God, let Him give you beauty for those ashes. He will redeem them when you let them go, placing them in the hands of your Creator and Redeemer.
You've only got two things you can control right now- the decisions you make and how you respond to consequences of past decisions. Walking through our 'testimony gathering' years, I could have focused solely on the brokenness and my bad decisions. But I've learned that focusing on the past causes you to be wrapped up in bitterness, resentment, and sadness, and you'll miss the amazing opportunities in the present. So stop fruitlessly dwelling on the past. Invite Jesus into your past experiences and decisions, asking Him to:
- tell you the truth about what occurred to you and in your life
- heal those broken places
- forgive you for ways you've broken His heart
- give you the strength and humility to seek and grant forgiveness where needed
- set you free from guilt, shame, and condemnation that comes from the enemy
- walk with you boldly in His truth, hope and vision for your life and marriage
Choose to Live Regret Free
Having invited Jesus into your past experiences so you can walk boldly in His truth, hope and vision for your life and marriage, it's time to live that regret free marriage. It's time to choose to do something different, something so counter cultural that you will need Jesus in order to do it. I challenge you to CHOOSE every day, every moment to:
Don’t let selfishness and prideful agendas take over. Embrace true humility, and lift your heads to extend love to others. ~Philippians 2:3
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done.Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures. ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves. ~Romans 12:10
But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. ~Hebrews 3:13
Give grace abundantly
See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble... Hebrews 12:15
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. ~ Colossians 3:12-14
Endure difficulties together
Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing. ~James 1:2-4
Hope and dream wildly together
But to him who is more than almighty to do for us and is greater than what we ask or imagine, according to his power that is active in us... ~Ephesians 3:20
When you choose to live life boldly with Jesus, choosing to do these things above regardless of how you feel, trusting God with your spouse and your future, it changes everything.
What do these things look like in your regret free life and marriage?
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