Just Say NO To Sex?

no sex

I grabbed my oversized sweat pants and tank top. With every ounce of energy left within my five foot four and a half-inch frame, I swiftly pulled back the covers and eagerly collapsed onto the bed. At that moment, the emotional exhaustion from dealing with twenty plus clients, the stress of laundry, dirty dishes, the disgruntled shouts of an I want it my way or no way teenager, the awaiting upstairs clogged toilet, the to do list that stretches my entire neighborhood block, the unanswered emails, voice mails, it all seemed to slowly diminish...

This is my time- rest, relaxation, a good book, the ipad, two dark chocolate Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, followed by the anticipation of much needed sweet dreams, but then out of nowhere I felt IT… the hand! My hubby’s fingers begin to crawl up my spine like a stealthy, sneaky, recluse spider. I know what he is expecting.

At that moment my fleshly side wants to shout out, I wouldn’t do that if I were you! Do you want to keep those ten fingers? Don’t you even think about it! You had it last week, to be sure that should last for a good month. What in tarnation are you thinkin’?

Every selfish instinct tells me to stand my ground, demand my sexual rights, not give in, and just say NO to sex!

I Am The Only One?

It's then I am reminded that I am the special gift that God gave to my husband to meet this need. You see, my husband can take his laundry to the cleaners, dine out for all of his meals, confide in a close male friend, and in doing all this he can still be in the will of God. Yet, if he chooses to have sex with anyone other than his wife-ME- it is sin! I am the only one who can minister to my husband in this area.

This love, intimacy, and the act of being completely transparent and naked before each other creates a oneness within our marriage that should take precedence over everything else; the iphone, ipad, commitments, chores, kids, chocolate, Facebook, EVERYTHING, with the exception being for a mutual short retreat for prayer. In reading 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul goes on to caution that even this should be done for a short time.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ~1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Getting My Priorities Back In Line

I am learning that my commitment to sexual intimacy in our marriage involves doing what is necessary to achieve it, and getting rid of whatever is necessary that hinders it. There will be times that I have to take control of my thoughts, lay aside my selfishness, and focus on the needs of my husband. In all honesty, there are times that I find myself praying these words.

Lord, I need you to help me. You know my faults, how I tend to overcommit myself, and can get my priorities so out of line. Help me to surrender any emotional or mental obstacles that may be hindering me from wanting to share this pleasure with my husband. Father, I want to meet my husband’s needs. God, give me a passionate desire to be intimate with him, and a fresh renewed strength. Thank you for choosing me to be his gift. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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