A Friend's Marriage

I love getting a friend's perspective, don't you? Our dear friend Jill stopped by, wanting to share this with you!

Several years ago, a very dear friend and co-worker walked into my office needing to talk. I was certainly not ready for what he was going to tell me. He started telling me that he and his wife were no longer together. They were living in separate houses. If something did not happen soon, they would be divorced.

friend's marriage

I am sure that I had the most dumb founded look on my face. Thoughts and questions raced in my head as he continued to talk. How had this happen? They were our dear friends. How had I not seen this coming? Surely, this was not right? They had everything. As he continued to pour out his heart, I just sat there. Partly, because I was in shock, but mostly...

I did not know what to say to my friend.

Now for those of you who know me, you know that I always have something to say. But this time, I could not even put two words together to say my own name. I can honestly tell you that at the time, it felt like someone had their hand over my mouth. Looking back, I am very gland “that hand” was holding my mouth shut. The thoughts going through my head were crazy, and not a one of them would help in this situation.

By this time, my friend had finished talking. We just sat there for a few minutes. It seemed like some of the longest minutes of my life.

Then the next thing I knew, there were words coming out my mouth. I remember them very well, because I could hear myself saying them. But I was very much aware that they were not my words but the words from the Holy Spirit. That was the first time anything like that had happened to me!

I boldly told him that his marriage was not over that the Lord had this under control. I told him about Scott & Sherry’s calling on their lives to show others God’s truth, hope and vision for marriages and families. Then I heard this statement come out of my mouth: A year from now, we would sit on the beach and laugh; at how Satan had tried to tear his family apart. Because our God was going to win, He had great things in store for this family.

Pray & Stand: Change rarely happens instantly

I would love to tell you that in that instance that those words were spoken that the tide turned and everything became instantly wonderful. But it did not. My husband, Phil and I watched as our friend became totally broken; as he fought for his wife, his marriage and his family. I remember Phil telling me that he was worried that our friend may never come through this. I even listened over the phone and in person as his wife told me all the reasons their marriage would never work. Most of the time, Phil and I didn't say anything, because we did not want to give Satan any power. We did not know or understand, but we believed God was in control. He was not done doing His work yet.

Then what seemed unthinkable happen, our friends met with Scott and Sherry, they believed God's truth, and submitted themselves and their marriage to Him. Their marriage and family were restored. It was nothing short of a miracle that all four of us are more than happy to give Him all the praise for. By the way, we did take that trip to the beach. As the four adults sat on the shore in Carteret County and watched our four kids play in the water. We thanked the Lord for what He had done and laughed at Satan for trying to destroy what God had put together.

But in that moment the Holy Spirit dropped in my soul this statement: It is not the words that we say. It is the prayers that we pray and the stand that we take in His name. That is what makes all the difference. In that moment in my office, if I had said what I wanted, it could have been the words that caused my friend to give up. You see, God's Word tells us that death and life are in the power of our tongue in Proverbs 18:21

So many times, when our family and friends come to us, we say what our gut response is. We don’t let the Holy Spirit put His hand over our mouth. We don’t even let them finish. We just jump right in, offering advice, saying what we would and would not do. So the next time you find yourself in this situation let the Holy Spirit put His had over your mouth. Then watch what He does….

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!