God creates, Satan perverts. The Five T's are the road that will bring you to intimacy beyond your wildest dreams with your spouse, as we mentioned in Five T's for Success. Before marriage and outside of marriage, the Five T's are like a road which leads up to and potentially over the proverbial "line". The problem with a line on the road is that it can be difficult to see until you're almost on top of and about to cross it.
Let's take a look down the road of the Five T's of Destruction:
The first "T" is Time.You've got a limited amount of it every day, so spend it wisely so that it reflects the priorities in your life. Relationships are built minute by minute, so it is important to spend your best time and energy in your priority relationships: God, your spouse, and your kids...everything else comes after these. The more time you spend with someone of the opposite gender who is NOT your spouse, the more talking you will do.
The second "T" is talking. The more time you spend with someone, the more you'll communicate with them. The danger here is if you're talking with a person and being more open to conversation to them, you're investing in their life and opening your life to them. Seriously dangerous waters here, as there have been many victims of the lie "We're just talking to each other", which then leads to "No one listens to me like he/she does." And yes, this happens in the church, at work, at the ball field, in the gym, wherever men and women gather.
The next "T" is transparency. The more time you spend with a person, the more you talk with them. The more you talk with them, the more transparent you become. Are you sharing parts of your life with someone of the opposite gender that you haven't shared with your spouse? DANGER!! DANGER!! IF IN CONVERSATION YOU HAVE STARTED A SENTENCE WITH "I COULD NEVER TELL MY SPOUSE THIS....", you have just told that person you are his/hers. STOP! RUN in the other direction!!! If you don't, you'll move to the next T...
The fourth "T" is trust. The more time you spend, the more you talk. The more you talk, the more transparent you become. The more transparent you become, the more you trust and are trusted. Do you find yourself trusting someone more than you trust your spouse? If so, it's time to pull the plug on that relationship and start the The Five T's in your marriage with your spouse.
The fifth and final "T" is touch.The more time you spend, the more you talk. The more you talk, the more transparent you become. The more transparent you become, the more you trust and are trusted. The more you are be trusted by with someone's heart, the more likely you will be able to touch their heart...and other places. Yes, time leads to talking, talking leads to transparency, transparency leads to trust, and trust leads to touching.
HEED THE WARNING:When you are investing an inappropriate amount of time with a person who is not at that God given level of priority in your life, you are telling that person they are important to you. The time you spend with them is the first signal to others that they matter in your life. The line is fairly distant at this point, so it can easily appear blurry. Be cautious about the amount of time you're spending with someone: you are sending a message, to them and to those who are watching.
When you got married, your plan was to be married for life. Husbands and wives who are pouring into their marriages don't commit adultery. It's when you let down your guard, when you're not protecting your marriage from the little foxes that you find yourself somewhere you never intended to go.
Sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, cost you more than you wanted to pay, and keep you longer than you wanted to stay.
If you find yourself in any of the above, there is ONE solution. STOP, TURN AROUND, GO IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. God says to FLEE. Just as time is the key to starting a relationship, lack of time is how you kill a relationship. Lose that person's phone number, block his/her facebook, go to a different gym, sit in the other bleachers, change churches or go to a different service, do whatever it takes to eliminate the possibility of being tempted to spend time with that person. And then pour into your spouse, get to Know Your Spouse. It will change your life, your marriage and your legacy for good.
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