Bye-Bye Granny Panties!

Bye-Bye Granny Panties!

Hold on to your blue jeans for this one,  here comes a mighty confession! As a matter of fact, someone just might want to call me up and take me out to lunch! Whoodoggie...forget the lunch, just drop by my office with a dozen cream filled doughnuts, a couple of jars of crunchy peanut butter and some chocolate bars. I am coming clean and it feels good. It's a day of revelation!

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Five Steps to Destroy Your Marriage

Five Steps to Destroy Your Marriage

God creates, Satan pervertsThe Five T's are the road that will bring you to intimacy beyond your wildest dreams with your spouse, as we mentioned in Five T's for Success. Before marriage and outside of marriage, the Five T's are like a road which leads up to and potentially over the proverbial "line". The problem with a line on the road is that it can be difficult to see until you're almost on top of and about to cross it.

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Fill My Rolo-SEX!

Fill My Rolo-SEX!

Do you remember the Rolodex? For those of you who are under 35, it was little round desk accessory that had hundreds of cards in it. The cards held information from business associates and contacts. When you wanted to call someone, you spun through the alphabetized names, picked up the phone (which was attached to the wall/desk by a cord!) and called. We've already established through numerous previous posts that men and women think differently, and even if we hadn't, it's no mystery that we see the world through very different lenses. One writer says that men see the world through blue tinted glasses and women through pink. So just keep that in mind as you continue to read.

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SEX: Keep The Passion ALIVE!

Honeychild, somebody pass the peanut butter and a chocolate bar this is gonna be one tee-totally, eye brow raising, foot stomping, giggling so hard I’m grabbing my belly, YES Christians can have fun, forget reality television, AMAZINGLY REAL blog post!! sex

It's been a weekend packed  with three speaking engagements, a district talent competition for both kids, church, and a hand full of other activities. I am mentally and physically drained! On top of that, when I walk through that door this afternoon after a full day at work, I know that I will be greeted by a sink full of dishes, three unmade beds and two piles of laundry, one dirty and the other funky. Dirty means that in hard times we can wear it just one more time. Funky means you better grab a gas mask and run just as fast as you can while loading it into the washer!

Not tonight, dear, I've got a headache

It seems the cycle of "fast paced" is never-ending. There is work, kids, activities, church, and the list goes on. SOOOOO the last thing I want to feel when my head hits that pillow tonight is a hand crawling up my back like a pack spiders. Just being candid, if I’m not careful I can find myself making an excuse every night of the week for why NOT to have sex with my hubby. From headaches, to earaches, to backaches, to “Not tonight, honey, I have a toe ache!” Yet, I know without a doubt that sex IS a fundamental part of our marriage covenant and I am determined to keep the passion ALIVE!!

Kind of reminds me of a story I heard  of this one old couple who were at a coffee shop one night and the husband leaned over and asked his wife, "Do you remember that time 50 years ago we went behind this same building where we leaned against the back fence and we… you know?" “Yes,” she says, "I remember it well."

The old guy got a twinkle in his eye and said, "How about we take a stroll around back to it again for old time’s sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but fun idea!”

Now, a police officer was having coffee and happened to overhear this conversation and chuckling to himself, he thought: "I’ve gotta' see these two old-timers just to keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble." So he follows them.

The elderly couple walked out slowly, leaning on each other and with the help of their canes. Finally, they got to the back of the building and sure enough, the old man made his move and the lady leaned against the fence. The policeman was about to turn away, when suddenly it turned into the most unexpected display of marital fireworks the policeman had ever seen. This went on for minutes with loud shouts and screaming!!

Finally, they both collapsed on the ground. The policeman was amazed. He thought how all these years he had underestimated EVERY senior citizen he’d ever met. How did they keep the passion alive so long? After giving them a chance to pull themselves together, the policeman decided, “I’ve got to ask them what their secret is."

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but I have to admit, I just saw that, and I’m wondering what the secret is to keeping that kind of passion in your relationship."

Shaking, the old man was barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago, that wasn’t an electric fence!!!" Now that’s one way to keep the passion alive!

SEX: Keeping The Passion Alive

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not shamed.  ~Genesis 2:24-25

S- SEDUCE Your Husband: Or for all my brothers in Christ, SEDUCE your wife!! Have mercy, I’m gonna need a pedicure by the time I am finished. I’m stepping all over my hot pink, polka dot painted toes today.

If you don’t  take care of the sexual needs of your spouse, it is like throwing him or her into a pack of foaming at the mouth wolves in an immoral, ungodly sexual culture! You heard me right. We live in a world filled with pornography, women and men who have no respect for their bodies, x-rated Hollywood movies and magazines being flaunted on the screen, on our electronics, and even in the check-out lines.

I mean of all things, I passed by a local billboard for a plastic surgeon the other day and thought I was going to have a heart attack! The model was barely clothed while stretched out in a provocative position. I wanted to cover my husband's and my fourteen-year old son's eyes to protect them from that filth! I REFUSE as a godly wife to give the enemy a foot in the door in my marriage!!!  Listen up ladies it is time we make our husbands our first priorities. They need to feel desired, loved, and like they are the most valuable thing on this planet!! So in other words, forget the laundry, instead seduce himTurn Him On & Get Naked!

E-Examine Your Heart:  Sista' believe me, YES, I know all about exhaustion, being drained and all the drama that comes along with a typical week. As a matter of fact, I am the momma of all drama! Madea ain't gotta thang on me!!  Yet, there are times I have to examine my heart. I have to put aside my selfishness, my lists, my wants.... I am called to minister to my husband in this area. I am not going to lie. Sometimes I have had to pray: Lord, change my heart.

You may have to jump in the shower, take a nice warm bath, dab on your favorite perfume, grab something pretty or you may even have to schedule a time for sex! BUT, you keep this in mind, this intimacy with your spouse, this sexual oneness, this transparency,  this gift from GOD, this highest form of worship with your spouse, is a VITAL part of the marriage relationship. It is the ONE thing you can’t do with anyone else.

X- Xperiment (experiment) with NEW ideas! Say adios, so long, farewell, sayonara, to ho-hum, can only be done in one position, don’t mess up my bangs, BORING sex! It’s time to spice it up. Light the candles, add the romance, turn on the music, bring on the strawberries and whip cream, read Song of Solomon together, grab the scented oils, forgo the oversized jogging pants, grab something pretty to wear, flirt, giggle, laugh, yell, and laugh some more! You may even want to add fresh insight such as godly resources and books or speak to a qualified Christian mentor or biblically based counselor.

Above all COMMUNICATE to each other your likes and dislikes and always  KEEP THE PASSION ALIVE!!

How do stepfamilies handle stress? How do you choose between spouse and child? Learn powerful, practical tools to build YOUR successful stepfamily from world renown expert Ron Deal!

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PORN: A Destructive Four Letter Word

Just one innocent peak and no one will ever know… I tiptoed over to the coffee table and began to curiously unravel the crinkled up pages within the magazine. The photos were full of images of nudity and couples engaged in provocative sex acts. The articles and advertisements contained filthy, explicit language that I had never even heard of as a young teenager.

porn

I was thirteen at the time and I had allowed my junior high friend to coerce me to take a quick look at the pages. Just one peek...what harm could ever be caused? My  friend and I had been asked to babysit for a young couple with two small children. I was a little surprised that they had left the stacks of X-rated magazines lying around in full view.

The twisted images of sex were not at all what my naive mind had imagined. Everything was so visibly distorted, leaving me to believe for such a long time that sex was grossly overrated. It appeared to be such a nonchalant, ugly, ungodly thing…. Pornography has a way of holding your mind captive to the toxic ideas of what sex really is.

The Guilt & Shame

That night as I was lying in bed the pictures kept replaying over and over again in my head. I tried to get the dark, sinful impressions out of my mind. My uncontrolled thoughts and curiosity only made me feel more ashamed and full of conviction. What had led me to cave into the pressure from my friend? I knew better, I had been raised in church all of my life, why was I so drawn to the lust filled images within those  pages….

Shocking Porn Facts

I was shocked just this week to read in one survey of Christians…47%- (that is nearly half!) said that pornography is a major problem in their home! (Focus on the Family Poll, 1 October, 2003.)

Now more than ever Satan is on a rampage to destroy our homes. In  John 10:10 we read that the enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy. He knows he can use this sinful tool to threaten lives, families, marriages and children. Porn has become a damaging, life changing, destructive four letter word!

There is not a week that goes by that someone in our ministry does not have to reach out to a couple or family that has been affected by this looming, powerfully devastating industry. What came as a major surprise to me, however, was to learn that pornography revenue is larger than the revenues of all professional football, baseball, and basketball franchises… COMBINED! Friends we need to wake up, porn is huge!

More Alarming Facts:

  • 35% of all internet downloads are pornographic
  • 43% of all internet users view pornographic material (1 out of 3 are female)
  • For every 10 men in church, 5 are struggling with pornography
  • Sex & porn are among the 5 top search terms for kids under 18
  • The average age of first internet exposure and pornography is 11 years old
  • Half of all hotel guests order pornographic movies
  • 38% of adults think it is morally acceptable to look at pictures of nudity and sexual behavior
  • The pornography industry, according to conservative estimates, brings in $57 billion per year, of which the United States is responsible for $12 billion.

(more stats available at xxxchurch.com)

What can you do?

Do you want to be set free from the bondage of porn and sexual sin? My friend, you can not do it alone. Porn addiction is one of the most difficult addictions to overcome. Even the secular world recognizes the power of the addiction and its effect on our children.

Educate Yourself. Ignorance is no excuse, so get armed for the battle. xxxchurch.com is an incredible resource and has proven helpful when mentoring couples who have found themselves right smack dab in the middle of a fiery attack on their marriage from the pain, distrust, lies and hurt associated with porn use. Let me encourage you to visit this valuable site which is managed by Christian people who want to you to know the facts, as well as these online articles about pornography:

every mans battle: winning the war on sexual temptationEvery Heart Restored: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband's Sexual SinThese two books are our favorite: Every Man's Battle for men and Every Heart Restored for the women who want to understand the battle their husbands are born into and come alongside them to help them win the battle.

Don't do it alone. Find yourself an accountability partner– someone who will walk along side of you while you are battling with this struggle. This may be your wife, a friend, a minister. Accountability  is the critical first step to any recovery journey. Since most porn use is now online, it’s crucial to get the best monitoring and filtering software available. Let me encourage you to check out  X3watch. If you’re serious about avoiding porn or recovering from porn addiction, it all starts with accountability, inviting someone to walk alongside you in this battle.

Get help. Find the nearest Celebrate Recovery, Pure Life, or local addiction recovery group. In the Goldsboro area, we've got Broken Chains to help you overcome your hurts, habits and hang ups. Don't have a local group? Join an online one.

GOD wants you to be FREE 

You can’t deal with an addiction if it remains a secret! Do you need to start this new year off by bringing some sin to light? Are you tired of the bondage that has held you captive with your thoughts...those distorted images that have left you filled with guilt, fear and anxiety, wondering when it will all collapse around you? Please know that we love you, our God loves you and He wants you to be free.

 

New year, new you, new marriage! Now it a great time to tune up your marriage at The Art of Marriage! We're excited to be at 902 Church in Kinston January 17-18. Register today!

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We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

Say YES to Sex

Throughout marriage, if we decided we would only have sex when we both were in the mood, how often would we have sex? Not much.

sex

With marriage comes the convenant, the promise, to offer your body sexually to your spouse. And in Chapter 20 of Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife, she rightly encourages wives to Say Yes to Sex. I love the example she gives regarding the perspectives of a husband and wife on the frequency of sexual intimacy in their marriage, that in Annie Hall, Woody Allen's character complains to his therapist that he and his wife hardly ever have sex, only two, maybe three times a week. A the same time, she is complaining to her therapist that they have sex all the time- two maybe three times a week!

Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. ~1 Corinthians 7:3 MSG

The author shares some common complaints/excuses wives share for not engaging in sexual intimacy:

"I'm not in the mood."

As I mentioned earlier, if you waited until you were both in the mood, how often would you have sex? Say yes at least once a week. Making love with your husband affirms your love for him, causes him to feel loved and masculine. Lead with your mind...if you lay their thinking how you're not in the mood, it will take you longer to get there. Think about the parts of his body that you find attractive, how you feel when you ARE in the mood, and let your body catch up.

"I don't feel emotionally connected with him."

It can be difficult to respond to your husband when you're going through a rough spot or you're tired from a long day with the kids. Don't pass up the opportunity to engage with your husband sexually, for it can be the gateway for him to share and connect with you emotionally. Responding to your husband's sexual advances will provide opportunity for him to open up to you emotionally. The enemy (or your flesh!) may whisper in your ear, "why should I do something for him when he doesn't do anything for me?" Everyone loses in a standoff. When you married, when you decided to make Jesus your Lord, you chose to love unconditionally and put the needs of your spouse before yours. When you choose not to do that, you miss out on the amazing softening of hearts and becoming one flesh, and choose to create a power struggle instead.

Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. ~1 Corinthians 7:4 MSG

"I can't get aroused."

Refer back to not being able to get in the mood. Lead with your mind. Break out the oils, lotions, lubricants, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, mood music, soft lighting to set the stage in response to his inquiry. Take the time and communicate with each other about what arouses you. Or, you may need to make an appointment with your physician, perhaps there is a contributing medical condition that needs attention.

Pornography and masturbation: Author Laura Doyle also mentions that there will be times when you aren't able to come together with your husband sexually, and that he may choose to satisfy himself. She shares that pornography and masturbation are okay....and that is where we disagree. God created sex for the mutual satisfaction of a husband and wife, pornography and masturbation have NO part in that. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy, using these tools to kill intimacy in marriage, cause isolation, and are incredibly addictiveWe've written more about that here. And Jamie shares about her journey with her husband's pornography addiction here.

Pornography Addiction:

Sexual desire and intimacy is vital healthy part of marriage. If you find yourself with no desire, seek help, just as you would if you had no desire to eat. Speak to your physician if it's purely a physical issue, or a biblical counselor if you've experienced sexual abuse/trauma. There are many resources to help you understand your perspective, and perhaps help you dispel myths or misunderstandings you have about sex. Get the truth to dispel the lies!

One of our favorite websites for truth and practical conversations about sex is Hot, Holy and Humorous. We love the way J shares and think you will, too.

Resources we love:

836401: Intimacy Ignited: Kindling Your Love Life With the Song of Solomon301846: The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women: Discover the Secrets of Great Sex in a Godly Marriage719371: Intended for Pleasure, Fourth Edition60243: Sheet Music457974: Every Man"s Battle with Workbook: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time459428: Every Heart Restored: A Wife"s Guide to Healing in the Wake of a Husband"s Sexual Sin444944: Intimate Issues: Conversations Woman-to-Woman72966: Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets them Free48647: Hush: Moving from Silence to Healing After Childhood Sexual Abuse885475: Recovering from Child Abuse: Healing and Hope for Victims273780: Sexual Assault: Healing Steps for Victims063070: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

 

NOTE: One thing I want to mention here is that yes, I am disappointed that with all God has to say about the role of wives and submission, the author doesn’t cite any scripture, yet manages to quote Buddha. It’s still a great book, it still lines up with God’s Word, the author’s frankness was a practical wake up call for me…I just wish she’d embrace and share that God is the author of surrender. 

In case you've missed it, this post is part of a series following along with The Surrendered Wife. I'd strongly encourage you to pick up the book and read along! Catch up on the blog series now by reading: Control or IntimacyDid You Marry a Loser?, Chauffeur or VIP, Shhhh!, Crazy Resentful, Your Heart's Desire, You Bought a What?!Just Say Thank You, GirlfriendsButton Pusher, Expectations, Not a Mind ReaderSpace to WorkA Wife's Role, It's Okay to Say I Can't, Intimacy: Naked & Unashamed, If You Can't Say Something Nice, Let Your Husband Be the Dad, and Seduce Your Husband.

 

Do you struggle with low self esteem or other insecurities? You just don't feel pretty enough, smart enough, or even like you fit in? Join recording artist Sarah Groves, Beverly Weeks and Sherry Jennings for this amazing life changing event. We'll share from own personal struggles, past addiction to food and how you can be set free from your bondage in the name of JESUS! That's not all! We will have over 50 vendors on site with shopping, a concert & a lot of PRIZES!!!! Tickets are on sale at www.bridgechurch.cc Bring your church groups! Bus & van parking is available!IWM 2013 cc

Whether your marriage needs a tune up or an overhaul, REGISTER today!!

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We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

Three Steps To A SEXcessful Love Life

A little Barry White playing in the background, we giggle, we kiss… my husband pulls me closely to his rib cage and in an effort to muffle the noise I frantically reach for the pillow to cover my face. Who knows in a blue million years just how we have ended up rolling on the floor near the bedroom door. It’s our long-awaited fifteen minutes of passion! My head turns toward the door and I can hear the sound of the turning door knob. My adrenaline starts to go haywire and out of nowhere I pull it together and shout, “Don’t you dare open that bedroom door young lady, mom is working on the muscles in daddy’s hurt back!”  We pause for a brief moment and then I am faced with my worst love life nightmare, a little set of beady, brown, nine-year old eyes, peering from underneath the door jamb. “Mom, are you sure everything is okay? What’s that owl sound coming from your room?” 

sex

Not one, not two, BUT Three Steps To a SEXcessful Love Life:

Just Do It! Yes, I am keenly aware someone already has that slogan. I don’t want to steal it, just borrow it! If you have said, “I do,” well honeychild, it’s time to do it! I'll be the first to confess that I am so guilty of getting caught up in laundry, dirty dishes, the PTA, kid’s activities and so many chores and  priorities that by the end of the day I am drained dry emotionally and physically. Sex has not even crossed into the thoughts of my overloaded, worn out brain cells.

The only thing I have on my mind at 9 PM is my head hitting a soft pillow. Some nights it is all I can do to muster enough strength to brush my teeth. BUT, then I feel "IT"…. The HAND!! His fingers go to crawling up my spine and I want to scream out! YOU ANIMAL! You just had it last night, to be sure that ought to be enough to last you for two months or six months! It’s then that I have to give myself a check up from the neck up and take control of my thoughts. Sometimes I just have to say, GOD, you know I'm exhausted, I need you to change my attitude! Lord, help me look at this differently. Help me to look as sex as a gift and enjoy this intimacy with my husband.

Communicate! Sex within the marriage is a beautiful gift to be delighted in by the couple. BUT you can’t scream or shout for joy if you don’t first communicate to each other your likes and dislikes. I have a confession, and I am just getting candid. Have mercy! Somebody pass the peanut butter and chocolate cause this is the part where I can picture my beautiful, “raised in church all her life” grandmother turning a Pentecostal flip in her grave. I bet the earth is shaking about right now!

I admit that I went many years in our marriage without experiencing the “O” word. As a matter of fact for the longest time I had no idea the “O” word could even exist within a Christian marriage!  My concept was that it was something dirty, or just for an elite few. When I heard other women talk about it or read articles about it, I felt so ashamed and embarrassed, that I never told anyone that I had not ever experienced it! Not even my husband.

Some THANGS are gonna CHANGE 'Round Here!

In all honesty, it was not until God restored our marriage years ago that I was determined to be more open with my husband in many areas, SEX included. I began to communicate to him my desires, dreams, pleasures and we began to use new techniques and WOOOOOW, was I in for a shock!! Let me rephrase that. Was I in for a G-shock!

Whooodoggie! He hit the spot with a vengeance. I began to research Christian resources and we began to try new things. For too long we had been caught up in nonsense rules! I had thought it was improper to show a lot of passion between the sheets, was too concerned with messing up the bed, or having to wash the sheets that it lead to a life of ho-hum BORING SEX!

Try new things. All things! As long as it is safe, honors GOD and is acceptable with your spouse, then go for it! Lotions, oils, music, chocolate, whip cream….BRING IT ON!!

Many of you are nodding your head NOT because you can’t believe I have shared all of this, BUT because you too can relate to a ho-hum sex life and you have not been bold enough to reach out to a godly mentor, pastor or counselor for help. Let me be the first to say that it’s okay to reach out for help! There is no problem that doesn’t have GOD as part of the solution.

Keep Christ in the Center of Your Marriage! As Christians we need to understand that sexual intimacy in marriage is God’s design! That's right, not my design, not Oprah's design or even Dr. Oz, BUT God's design! It was created to be one of the most intimate acts with our spouse that we could ever experience.  Sexual intimacy needs to be consistent in marriage. I have said this before and I will say it again... my husband can send his laundry out to the cleaners, eat all of his meals out at a restaurant, confide his darkest secrets to a friend and in doing all of these things he can still be in the will of God. BUT, if he has sex with anyone other than his spouse it is a sin! I am the only one who can meet his needs in this area. I now look at sex as an act of worship with my husband. We have learned that without Christ, our marriage is hopeless and that includes welcoming Him into every area of our marriage.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ~1 Corinthians 7:3 

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but to his wife. ~1 Corinthians 7:4 

The Truth Shall Set You Free

I ain’t gonna lie to you or candy coat this! My husband and I are still learning and growing in this area. There are times that I am selfish and I give in to my own needs instead of my husband’s interest. I have to seek forgiveness in that area. Yet, I can truly say that my relationship with my husband and our intimacy is stronger than it ever has been in all the years of our marriage. Happy snuggling and here's wishing you a SEXcessful love life!

  IWM 2013 cc

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WEekend to Remember

We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

Seduce Your Husband

Seduce Your Husband

Throughout marriage, if we decided we would only have sex when we both were in the mood, how often would we have sex? Not much. With marriage comes self sacrifice and the decision to be available. And while there may be times our husbands would love for us to just say "hey, let's have sex," more often than not, when we say that, it comes from a spirit of fear or control, to pull our husbands to us. Every part of our bodies as women was created to attract our husbands to us, not demand or pull them to us. We've all seen how making demands of our husbands sends them running away from us instead of toward us.

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Godly & Sexy

You're kidding, is this all there is?? Where was the passion that I had seen on the big movie screens and soap operas? The deep breathing, the moaning, the sexy lingerie…. Disappointed, I sighed to myself as I reached for the covers and turned back over to get some much needed sleep.

godly & sexy

Maybe there was something wrong with me. Could it be that my body parts were possibly dysfunctional? Why did my husband seem to enjoy sex, while I would just lie there, counting the white, painted, popcorn crackles on the ceiling just to make the time go by….

I had expectations of what our first years of lovemaking would be like… we had experienced absolutely none of them! On top of that, there had been no mention in our brief premarital counseling session on sex.  As a matter of fact, if I would have thought about reaching out for help, just the mention of the word “sex” would have sent some of my church friends into a tizzy.

Honeychild, I ain’t gonna’ lie, those first few years I found more thrills shopping at a TJMAXX sale or sitting down with a jar of crunchy peanut butter and a chocolate bar than I did in the bedroom. Often times I thought, could it be that sex was just created to be a “man thang?"

Trial and error

When I reflect back to our early days of marriage, it was definitely all by “trial and error.” Shamefully, for years, even a decade, I allowed “Ho-Hum” boring sex to become the norm in our bedroom.

Lovemaking was done in the missionary style, complete darkness, Fruit of the Loom underwear off …and ten minutes later we were finished… In the back of my mind I could not help but think there had to be more….

Can Christians Enjoy SEX?

You know sadly there are many Christian women and men today who are confused about sex. They have never really experienced the passion, enjoyment and the true gift of sex within their marriage. Just being candid, it was not until years ago when God restored our marriage that I began to look at ways to enhance our sex lives. I desired to share that deep down intimacy with my husband. AND Yes, by golly, I wanted to yell, I wanted to squeal and I wanted to feel sexy!

Sadly enough, I felt like there was no one within my church that I could share my secret with. I began to read Christian resources and books and that became my stake in the ground moment. I realized that God created sex and He intended it to be the most pleasurable gift shared between a husband and a wife.

Can I be godly & sexy?

Looking at myself naked in the mirror is not my idea of fun. I mean, the first thing I used to be drawn too was the extra tummy roll and the dimples and dents in my draggin’ hiney. Years of nursing had left me sagging, and even with the Spanx and a little zebra striped duct tape, I still did not feel pretty or even come close to feeling desirable.

The magazines that caught my eye in the check out line only showed beautiful women with perky boobs and not one sign of dark circles or cellulite. It was no wonder that I chose to wear over sized jogging pants and hideous flower printed gowns in an attempt to conceal what I perceived as a not to pleasant image. Years of battling with low self-esteem began to heal as I began to look at myself the way that God sees me.

Psalm 139:14  I am fearfully & wonderfully made.....

I began to to dress differently in the bedroom. You see, men are visual and I wanted to give my husband a little something to shout about. I went out and bought several new outfits all with the intention of turning him on! It was not easy purchasing lingerie that had less material than your grandma's handkerchief, but I did it for my husband and for me.

The Number One Godly Resource on SEX

I turned to the one true source, the number one godly resource which I call, "Sex for Dummies" and it's right in the bible. My eyes and my heart were captivated by what I found in the book of Song of Solomon as these two lovers, husband and wife, shared unbridled sexual intimacy together. There were scented oils, dancing, poetry, eating, (well, glory I absolutely LOVED that part). It was charming, romantic and I began to pray, GOD I want that kind of passion in my home with my lover!

My husband and I began to communicate with each other and to share our likes and dislikes. We began to experience things that we had never experienced before. We got out of that rut of "sex after ten, and only in the bed between two starched sheets." Yes, there is something amazing about hearing my man’s beating chest as we are in the shower having some glorious intense fellowship.

What are you desiring for your marriage in your sex life? Drop the pride, reach out for godly counsel, turn to the resources found in God's word and other Christian sources and you will be amazed at what GOD can do.

We LOVE a blog called Hot, Holy & Humorous, and we think you'll love it, too. Additionally, here are some great resources on sex and intimacy:

836401: Intimacy Ignited: Kindling Your Love Life With the Song of Solomon301846: The 5 Sex Needs of Men & Women: Discover the Secrets of Great Sex in a Godly Marriage719371: Intended for Pleasure, Fourth Edition60243: Sheet Music444944: Intimate Issues: Conversations Woman-to-Woman

Whether your marriage needs a tune up or an overhaul, REGISTER today!!

Weekend to Remember

We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 (pending) organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

Sometimes a back rub is really just a back rub!

Sometimes a back rub is really just a back rub!

MEN: I'm talking to YOU. May I be transparent with you? Back in January when Sherry, Beverly and the team were working diligently to put together the amazing Intentionally and Wonderfully Made women's conference, Sherry was, as you can imagine, under just a bit of stress. Sherry is not a complainer, she rarely says anything about her physical condition, so when she said she felt like she was carrying all of her stress in he neck and shoulders, I did what any self-respecting husband would: I offered to give her a back rub.

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TOP 5: #3 & A Giveaway!

As we celebrate our first year of our website and blogging, we can't help but reflect on other things God has done in the past year with Intentionally Yours. The Art of Marriage is a catalytic marriage experience created by FamilyLife. The Intentionally Yours Team has embraced this tool and has been sharing it like no other team on the planet. Since its release in 2011 through today, we've facilitated 21 events, walking 1,777 people through the experience of creatively hearing God's truth for marriage, leading 151 people to surrender their lives to Christ for the first time. It never gets old! We've got six events coming up and continue to receive invitations to facilitate throughout the southeast. Don't take our word for the power of this tool- read about it for yourself here.

We're also looking forward to The Art of Marriage at Sea! In late 2012, we were asked by Agape Travel to partner with them to facilitate the catalytic experience on a cruise ship- how do you say no to that? We love to cruise! Sailing from Charleston, SC on the Carnival Fantasy, we'll be visiting Nassau and Freeport, enjoying sea days, and The Art of Marriage. Only 63 days away, there are still a few cabins left- call Shirley at 919.971.9836 to book your cabin today!

Weekend to RememberRocks

To celebrate, this week we’re going to share the TOP 5 posts of our first year and host our first giveaway! Everyday this week you’ll be able to enter to win a FREE REGISTRATION to FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember (a $300 value!) or a set of MY WIFE ROCKS/MY HUSBAND ROCKS shirts (a $30 value!). Just follow the instructions below, and then we’ll announce the winner on Monday.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Counting down to #1...

Beverly Weeks' astounding ability to share the truth about sex in marriage in ways that charm and disarm us continues to make her posts a favorite. She gets to the heart of every issue, doesn't she? The #3 most read post on Intentionally Yours in the first year is How to Turn Him On and Get Naked.

#3: How to Turn Him On and Get Naked

how-to-turn-him-on-and-get-naked1 I walked into the bedroom and the first thing I did was reach for the lights. My past insecurities had led me to believe that I just wasn’t skinny enough, pretty enough…sexy enough.

Now, here I was taking bold small steps to break free from that bondage. For the first time in years, I had thrown aside the oversized sweat pants and had worn something to bed that just might cause my husband’s heart to  flutter, skip a beat and make his tongue wrap around his ankles twice!

Honeychild, I ain’t gonna lie, my heart went to racing, my knees started buckling and for a moment, I thought I should just grab the nearest bathrobe or even a bedsheet. I sucked in my stomach muscles as tight as I could and walked across that room in a white lacy outfit that had less material than my husband’s tube socks! In the back of my mind, all I could do was picture him sitting up in the bed like, Jethrow from the  show The Beverly Hillbillies, and shouting out, “WOO DOGGIE!”

Somebody pass the peanut butter and chocolate! I am about to step all over my hot pink polka dot painted toes and I will need a pedicure by the time I am finished.

Ladies, may I just get candid? Are we turning our husbands on IN the bedroom as well as out? Or are we rejecting/ignoring them, leaving them tempted to turn to other sources, to be drawn dangerously to the flirtatious looks, remarks, and advances of other women?

Last week I shared with the men, How To Turn Her On Without Getting Naked, this week I believe that I have a word for all the wives.

Ladies, it is time to turn him on AND GET NAKED! Some suggestions for you…

Read the rest of How to Turn Him On and Get Naked....

 

Sherry and Beverly have spoken at events throughout the southeast, including our own annual Intentionally & Wonderfully Made women’s event, and we’d love to come speak at YOUR women’s event! We share on topics such as insecurity, sexual intimacy, lies women believe, comparison, discontentment, people pleasing10 questions to ask your husband, and more. Don’t miss Beverly's next speaking engagement- September 13 at Goldsboro Worship Center!

Cafe Chocolate

Great getaways to get to change your life, marriage and family, whether your marriage is thriving or barely surviving:

Fall 2013 brochure with codeAOM at Sea rotating slide 07.01.13

We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 (pending) organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

TOP 5: #5 And A Giveaway!

Can you believe it was just one short year ago that we launched our website and started blogging? What a great year and a wild ride it has been! 142,908 hits and 1,200 comments later, we've shared all sorts of practical information to show that as long as you are breathing, there is hope. Weekend To Remember

To celebrate, this week we're going to share the TOP 5 posts of our first year and host our first giveaway! Everyday this week you'll be able to enter to win a FREE REGISTRATION to FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember (a $300 value!) or a set of MY WIFE ROCKS/MY HUSBAND ROCKS shirts (a $30 value!). Just follow the instructions below, and then we'll announce the winner on Monday.

ROCKS shirts

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Counting down to #1...

Beverly Weeks has been wowing us with her candidness as she covers topics and answers questions we are thinking but may be too bashful to ask. Her candor and southern charm disarms us and makes us laugh, arming us at the same time with powerful truth that will change our lives and marriages if we'll let it. The #5 most read post on Intentionally Yours in the first year is How to Turn Her On Without Getting Naked.

How to turn her on

“Honey, I have lined up my mom to watch the kids today. I want to take you to your favorite shops to buy you a new outfit. I have got all day, and when we have finished there, let’s just hang out together at the Olive Garden and then we will head over to your favorite chocolate store!  

Well, GLORY! No sooner than the words had left his lips, I just wanted to jump on his lap, give him a big kiss, and…. well that’s a whole notha devotion!  Honeychild, you might want to close your eyes before you read this next line, I ain’t gonna lie, my husband’s words sent me into a Holy Ghost tizzy and I could not help but throw my hands up in the air and start shouting!

Read the rest of How to Turn Her On Without Getting Naked!

 

Sherry and Beverly have spoken at events throughout the southeast, including our own annual Intentionally & Wonderfully Made women’s event, and we’d love to come speak at YOUR women’s event! We share on topics such as insecurity, sexual intimacy, lies women believe, comparison, discontentment, people pleasing10 questions to ask your husband, and more. Don’t miss my next speaking engagement!

Cafe Chocolate

Great getaways to get to change your life, marriage and family, whether your marriage is thriving or barely surviving:

Fall 2013 brochure with codeAOM at Sea rotating slide 07.01.13 We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom right of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 (pending) organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!

A Cure for BORING SEX

A Cure for BORING SEX

A cure for boring sex? You are kidding me right?!  Make love on the clean monogrammed bathroom towels? Honey, do you know how long it took me to wash, dry and fold those? On top of that you want to get on the floor? Seriously? I just shampooed, blow dried and used the flat-iron on these bangs, and I can only  imagine the screaming if one of our kids just happen to peek under the crack of the bathroom door.....

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Questions to Ask Your Wife

Questions to Ask Your Wife

A while back we posted 10 Questions to Ask Your Wife... time to pull it out of the vault. Humility. It’s a word that’s about as popular today with men as the word submission is with women. However, any man who has tried to biblically lead his family for more than about fifteen minutes knows humility is an integral part of leadership.

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Four Steps To WOW Sex!

Four Steps To WOW Sex!

Warning: When jumping up and down on the bed in an effort to add spice, humor and some fun to your sex life, it is best to turn the ceiling fan switch to the “off” position!  The blades can whack you in the noggin, you just might be knocked out cold and it might prove difficult when explaining to the emergency room crew, especially if your husband just happens to work at a hospitalBefore you even contemplate emailing me the question, the answer is YES. 

Read More

How To Turn Him On & Get Naked

I walked into the bedroom and the first thing I did was reach for the lights. My past insecurities had led me to believe that I just wasn’t skinny enough, pretty enough...sexy enough. how to turn him on and get naked

Now, here I was taking bold small steps to break free from that bondage. For the first time in years, I had thrown aside the oversized sweat pants and had worn something to bed that just might cause my husband’s heart to  flutter, skip a beat and make his tongue wrap around his ankles twice!

Honeychild, I ain’t gonna lie, my heart went to racing, my knees started buckling and for a moment, I thought I should just grab the nearest bathrobe or even a bedsheet. I sucked in my stomach muscles as tight as I could and walked across that room in a white lacy outfit that had less material than my husband’s tube socks! In the back of my mind, all I could do was picture him sitting up in the bed like, Jethrow from the  show The Beverly Hillbillies, and shouting out, “WOO DOGGIE!”

Somebody pass the peanut butter and chocolate! I am about to step all over my hot pink polka dot painted toes and I will need a pedicure by the time I am finished.

Ladies, may I just get candid? Are we turning our husbands on IN the bedroom as well as out? Or are we rejecting/ignoring them, leaving them tempted to turn to other sources, to be drawn dangerously to the flirtatious looks, remarks, and advances of other women?

Last week I shared with the men, How To Turn Her On Without Getting Naked, this week I believe that I have a word for all the wives.

Ladies, it is time to turn him on AND GET NAKED! Some suggestions for you…

Affirm and Encourage Him. Honey, flirt with your man! Leave notes on his pillow, the mirrors, his lunch box… I even had a friend who left her husband a message on the raised toilet lid written in red lipstick! Well GLORY! What a way to start your day with a little laughter and a little flirting. Affirm him and let him know you appreciate him when he pitches in with the chores. I like to tell my husband he looks sexy folding the towels! Is this a little out of character for me? YES. Does he fold towels more often? Hallelujah, YES! EMPOWER him with your words and you just watch what happens. If you don’t affirm your spouse I promise you someone else will. I refuse to let it be the babysitter, his secretary, someone at a gym, or at the grocery store. I have made a new commitment that the woman affirming him will be me! Praise your husband not only in private, but in front of his friends and his family.

Respect Him. You know as I read this verse again, I noticed something.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:33

Paul doesn’t say it would probably be a good idea if  the wife respected her husband, he doesn’t say respect him only if he deserves it, he doesn’t say respect him only if he has treated you well or only if he is a Christian, yet instead the verse reads, and the wife must respect her husband. Girlfriend, that means we have no alternative! Treat him like a valued gift. Allow him to lead even if he makes a mistake. I will be honest, that one was hard for me, trusting him and respecting him completely, even when I did not feel like he was right. I had to learn to bite my lip and keep quiet, but when I did I can’t tell you how this changed him.

Get NAKED with him. I have said this before, a husband can take his laundry to the cleaners, eat out for all of his meals, confide his deepest secrets with his male buddies, and in doing all of this he can still be in the will of GOD; BUT if he has sex with anyone other than his spouse it is sin. Wives, we are the only ones who can affirm our husbands in the area of sexual intimacy.  Be more expressive, respond to him and affirm his masculinity. Your husband is designed such that when he is not allowed to share this intimacy with you it can lead to internalized hurt, frustrations, anger, disappointments... ladies, he just feels rejected. Denying your husband of the pleasure of sex with you could lead to his turning to pornography or other areas of sin. Sex is one of the keys to a happy marriage. It is like giving water to a plant. Oh, and by the way, your husband is not as concerned with you being a size 2, 4, or 6 as he is with you allowing him to see you naked!

Ladies, affirm your husband today, respect him, go out and by some chocolate, a cute outfit or no outfit, and get naked with him!

Great getaways to get to change your life, marriage and family, whether your marriage is thriving or barely surviving:

Fall 2013 brochure with codeAOM at Sea rotating slide 07.01.13

We're linking up with some AMAZING bloggers…check out the links at the bottom left of the page.

Intentionally Yours is a 501(c)3 (pending) organization committed to sharing God's truth, hope and vision for marriage until every home is a godly home. Will you partner with us in this mission? Thank you for your support!